~No cOpY PaStE~

ACCIDENT!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-10-01T13:18:00.003+08:00

Salam. Hye.. for those of you who doest really know me, you might not know this.. but in MAY 2011.. just about a week before my exam, i was involved in a car accident.. i have probably mentioned this in my previous post but this post i dedicated in the memory of that accident.. hahaha.. MAY is not a very good month for me.. my heart was broken and people think i didnt know what was going on, i was involved with an accident yet it was insignificant, lousy birthday, my mum was admitted to CCU... terrible!!!! and i found out that having a near death experience made no difference to certain people i cared so much about.. they were so blinded with their own feelings that loosing me was considered as a relief... and oh, exam!! how unlucky huhhhh??? you bet!!!!

so, should i tell you how i got into the accident?? okey.. the story begins like this...

My mum was admitted to the hospital due to her heart condition.. she was admitted for about a week in the ward... the night before the accident, i have insisted on staying with my mum in the ward but everybody else had asked me to go home, get some rest because the next day i had a community health programme in a village about 35 minutes from usm.. the programme was part of my curriculum so it was compulsory for me to be there despite the fact that my mum was in the ward and all (yup.. sengal sangat when things like this happen).. so i went home with my sister in law and slept alone... kinda creepy la that night.. hahaha... yea, saya penakut especially bila malam jumaat.. geeeezzzz... so i hardly slept that night... didnt feel too good also.. felt like having a fever or something.. a very long lonely night... so, pagi tu.. i was a bit dizzy... didnt have my breakfast because i thought i was running late.. i was supposed to be at usm by 7 but it was already 7.10 am.. haish.. (you know what pissed me off??? that day, everybody gathered and went to the village at 9.30!!!! so why in the world people were rushing me to be there????!!!!)

i parked my car outside of the garage.. so it was covered by mist... so i drew down the window... and turned off the aircond... just the good old fresh air of friday morning.... so.. when i was at the junction from my house towards the main road... i crossed confidentlt because it was friday morning.. the road was literally empty... BUT.. as my car was perpedicularly in the middle of the road.... came this Proton Saga.. full speed!!! it didnt see me i guess because the driver didnt brake.... i know this!!! because when the car hit me, both of the cars were still moving.. i guess he panicked too... i was shocked too see him coming so fast and i cant think of anything except TEKAN MINYAK LA WEYHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!... but my car was in catatonic shock too la kot... hahaha... and as i saw the car coming directly at me, i thought.. this is it...i didnt even get to see my mum that day... melodramatic ke???? well.. that was what going thru my mind.. my whole life flashed in front of me... my Abah, my Ma.. and i just watched the car coming at me... the driver was talking to his girlfriend... and it was the girlfriend who realised my car was just a few metres away... but.. too late... BAAAAAAAAANGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!! KEBABOOOOO... my car kinda swirlded about 25 degrees.. and i was ALIVE!!! hahaha.. all that came out of my mouth is.. MY CAR!!!! ahahaha... ok.. so that's the story laaaa... lebih kurang.. but i want this post to be informational... so i wanna share with you how to deal with such situation...

first, when you get into an accident.. stay calm... HAHAHA.. didnt do much of that last time... check if you are okay or not.. can you move?? if not get help and ask someone to call the ambulans...just make sure no one is hurt la keyh.... then, if your vehicle was in the middle of the road... get some help to move it to the road side.. in my case, i was lucky enough as the villagers nearby helped me to move my car.. then, take all of your valuables from the car.. you never know if there was any leakage.. your car might explode!!! hahaha... ok tu macam over la kan.. but still.. keep your things safe... call your closest family member who can help you to settle things.. because you might be still in shock.. in my case i called my brother...then i call my lecturer and friends telling them i couldnt go to the programme i was supposed to go.. and i was crying!!! (malu seyh!!!!!)... call the police.. (of course la because what happened couldnt be settled by a simple agreement... it was not like someone scratched my car...duuuhhhh) ok... and i had my accident near a workshop and it had a tow truck.. so a bit convenient la to get a tow truck that time.. oh yeah!!! please dont forget to take pictures of the car!!! you are going to need it to claim insurance...

then, go to the police station to make the report.. do not forget your driving license and your ic ye cik mek!!!! hahahaha.. cam nak kena pancung je kalau tak bawak lesen to the police station to report an accident.. the inspector who interrogated me was a Singh... looked fierce but surprisingly kind... hahaha.. he was very huge... muscular... and macam Godfather la sket... but he was nice... he said "you student ke??? hurmmmm hati-hati laaa..you ni aset negara" hehehe... aset ni!! hahaha.. nasib baik la dia super duper nice... well.. nice-nice pun... kena ticket jugak.. rm300 because technically it was my fault la for getting out of junction carelessly.. he said "saya terpaksa saman awak sebab kalau ikut undang-undang.. awak kena saman atas kesalahan keluar simpang dengan cuai" hahaha... melayang rm300... so, for the insurance claim... you need to get the copy of police report which will be done about 2 days after you have reported it.. well sort off la because i had the accident on friday.. office tutup.. if during weekdays probably faster la kot... so what you need to prepare for your insurance claim... your driving license for the past 3 years, your ic, you car's registration document, your car's insurance.. semua yang berkaitan dengan kereta laaa... ooooohhhh... and get this.. if you are under 21 years old or still using P license, or the car is not under your name or not listed as the rightful driver.. you have to pay rm400 to the insurance company.. hahaha... sengal!!!! when the accident happened.. it was just a week before my birthday!!! alaaaa.. dah panjang sgt dah post ni..

fashion kerrr????

2011-09-27T19:48:00.003+08:00

Salam.. hello people.. if you are reading my blog, clearly you are bored and have nothing else to do.. hahaha... but i always appreciate your interest in my blog... i have never highlighted this fact before.. i dont do any proofreading when i am blogging.. and my English is not that good but hentam je laaaa... hahaha.. ok... the story begins like this..

i have to admit i am more of myself around girls rather than boys.. sooooooo uncomfortable around guys.. what do you expect, i am a girl... and i am not the type of girl who can just be friends with others especially guys in a 2 seconds conversation... so that explains why my guy friends ni boleh bilang ngan jari je... and honestly, it is always fascinating how the minds of women and men are different... but sometime so similar that it freaks me out a bit.. freaks me out in the sense of "are u sure u are a guy/girl??" hahaha...

so, the other day i have the opportunity to have a good informative chat with my good indian guy friend.. i asked him... "What do you think about the tudung that we all wear?" hehehe... a cliche question i have to say.. but i love to see things from different point of view... so he answered very honestly... "it is what your religious requires so it is cool... but i have to say the style of how the ladies wear tudung or scarfs nowadays are just simply freaking me out!!!! what is with this belit-belit style and letting it loose and wearing those dangling accessories for the tudung?? like seriously???!!! tudung is supposed to be simple right.. it looks nice in just the simple way..." hahaha... i was amazed by his reaction.. i mean he talked like one of those yang memang tak suka perempuan ni tabarruj (berhias secara berlebihan melampaui batas)... so i asked him about the instant tudung yg style Ariani or like what my lecturer mispronounced Arianna( with a Brit accent) hahaha.. dia cakap "it's more suitable for the older people i guess..the plain simple ones are ok.. but yang decorated pelik2 tu cam..i dunno how to say it nicely but if u can, please dont wear it" hahaha.... i kinda like his responses you know... he is living in a big city.. bigger than my hometown.. and he sorts of saw it all.. the styles of hijab... how people wore them too short that seems a bit pointless of actually wearing one..

the greatest and awesome part is my heart's opinion... that the belit-belit ones are just complicated, the word DISLIKE is clearly what he has to say....he prefers the simple ones..which i am going to keep to myself la that points.... i treasure that opinion so much!!!! hehehehe..not the see through 'i-can-see-your-neck-and-ears-and-everything' type la tau!!!!.. but i have to admit my tudung is not really that perfect.. ade yg a bit see through.. huhuhuhu.. honest confession la ni kira..... i wore the shawls sometimes with an inner.. but just once in a blue moon.. because i find it rather suffocating and irrelevant with the usage of a stethoscope.. hahaha... tergeliat kepala ngan tangan nak sumbat stethoscope kalau pakai tudung belit-belit. you might take 20 minutes just to wear it properly with you belit-belit tudung... some people look nice in it and some people just dont care if they dont look nice in it as long as they like it.. but.. seriously... tak perlu la pakai yang pelik-pelik sangat.. i mean, it's ok to let people know that you are fashionable... but not outrageous la...

Islam is about beauty in everything... it never forbids the muslims and muslimahs to be fashionable and well-dressed.. as long as you dont attach your soul to the clothes that you are wearing then, it's okay...unless you are just plainly vain...

how to know if you are plainly vain and outrageously inappropriate fashion freaks???
a) you spend too much time looking at the mirror... dah la doa tengok cermin tak baca... but you manage to spend hours putting on make ups and adding accessories to your tudung yang dah macam sarat dah dengan macam-macam benda... my lecturer said "tak payah la letak make up yg mahal sangat tu.. you are beautiful just like that" hahaha.... cam bruno mars la plak lecturer ni.. pandai bagi ayat cmtu ea dalam lecture...
b)you spend too much money trying to look good in the eyes of others instead of yourself... dah sampai riak pun ada.. and perhiasan tu cam kalau makcik-makcik tu.. emas sampai bahu.. huuuuuuhhhhh... tu yang duk ade mucsle pain tu... pakai barang berat sangat...
c)you are hoping for praises and that people will follow your style... heeessssshhhh
senang cte tabarruj la.. semua nak lebih-lebih tak leh la.. berfesyen la semampu dan sesedarhananya... how to define sederhana??? ada standard guidelines for that??? hurmmm... to make it simple... modesty is something that is allowed in islam, comfortable, affordable, clean, neat, nice, and makes you feel you.. heeeeeee... have a fashionable day people!!!

DoCtORS vs EtHiCS.. CORRECTION!! STUPID DOCTORS VS HUMANITY

2011-09-20T20:24:00.002+08:00

Salam... Okey, in my previous post i mentioned about sharing more experience regarding the hari raya but i think it is enough la.... Raya is soooo yesterday.. (but doesn't mean that the fasting in syawal should end before you complete the 6 days of it which equals the pahala of fasting for the whole year) so.. now i am officially a third year medical student.. so how is it so far?? BOOOOOOOORRRRRRRIIIIINGGGG.. hahaha.. in fact till now i am looking forward to go back home just the scond i arrive at the class... hahahaha.. terrible la this illness... anyhow, back to bussiness.. the first block or subject that i learn is about BIOETHICS AND COMMUNICATION.. it is not a clinical block.. but it is vital in producing good doctors... you know.. the HUMAN DOCTORS... not those DEATH EATERS VERSION OF DOCTORS... as lazy as i am to attend the sessions... i know.. this is important from my personal experience.. Ahhhhhhaaaaa!!! i know certain people dont really like reading about medical stuffs especially since they are not directly involve with it... but u know my style.. my blog talks about past experiences... stuffs i find worth sharing.. knowledge i think not many people know..

so.. previously, i have talked about how i despise the proud doctors... it seems like i really hate my field isnt it??? well, i dont blame you.. there are a bunch of people out there who criticised my way of smacking the naive ambitions of the young ones to become doctors... but this post is about doctors and ethics... so here goes.. my dad was 54 years old when he passed away.. in the first place, he had pain due to the gall stone (batu dalam hempedu) but later they found out my dad's liver was abnormal.. a series of investigation was done and BOOOOMM... the doctor broke the news.. my dad had cancer of liver... my dad was treated at 3 hospitals... 2 of them is in Kelantan and one in Selangor... not gonna mention the name of the hospitals here... the first hospital which handled my dad was very good.. created a good rapport (communication) with him... but the second hospital made me hate doctors!! wonder how i get through 3 years of medical school.. hahahaha... life is ironic... let the story begins.. One day, we brought my dad to the hospital in Selangor.. he had been treated there 10 years before for lymphoma (cancer of the lymph node) but this time, he was treated by another different doctor... this particular doctor is a well-known Prof.. a Dato'.. ooooohhh have i mentioned a very COCKY PERSON?? hahaha.. why??? get this, during his first meeting.. he saw my dad... checked his abdomen.. pressed here and there (palpated) and he went "WHAT DID THE HOSPITAL YOU PREVIOUSLY WENT TO DO?? THIS IS A CLEAR CASE OF LIVER CANCER IN ADVANCE STAGE.. YOU WILL HAVE A BLOATED STOMACH.. THEN YOU WILL BE DISORIENTED... THEN YOU WILL BE IN COMA.. YOU HAVE ABOUT 8 MONTHS TO LIVE" yes... this conversation happened the first day my dad met this stuck up doctor... and sure enough.. my dad was devatated.. damged emotionally... the last bits of his hopes were crushed.... and people talk about how the psychological aspect of the cancer patient can kill the patient faster than the cancer cells... why laaa this prof did that to him?? to add the salt to the wound... everytime he went to see my dad.. (just to increase the money he is getting for the rubbish treatment he was giving to my dad) he would stand 10 feet away from my dad.. my dad had a private room.. and the doctor would stand near the door... not near my dad... but near the door.. easy to get away i presumed... i swear i am telling the truth.. i am not exagerrating any information... so where are BENEFICIENCE??? NON-MALEFICIENCE??? AUTONOMY??? JUSTICE?? KNOWLEDGE??? EMPATHY???? should you give a senior specialist a reminder of what he learnt years ago in medical school about ethics??? or is this thing call ethics doesnt exist that time??? nak buat report about him pun.. he probably has a high rank or position in MMA OR MMC... but this is something that happens to my dad... to me.. put yourself in my dad shoes... jijik ke seorang pesakit kanser sampai seorang doctor layan dia macam tu... ooooohhh... wait... the story gets better... nak dijadikan cerita... my dad had friends who are Dato' and one of them bump into this Dato' Doktor Prof. ni... and then he realized that my dad was friends with influential people... haaaa... baru nak treat with respect... my dad was a financially stable person.. but not super rich... imagined how the doctor would treat a poor farmer or the lower working class people.. or those who are ot working anymore... mcm mane????

so... case number two... my dad went to the third hospital... he recieved a better treatment there.. much better.. but there was this particular doctor/researcher... suggesting my dad a new drug... supposedly good for cancer patients....it gave the effect of chemotherapy but you have to take it orally.. it was a new drug at that time and he was suggesting my dad to take it.. you have o understand this... my dad was a man who was fighting for his life... he would do anything to be free from his disease... to see me going to college.. to be at my graduation.., to see more grandchildren.. to have more family vacations... so... he was willing to take it.. as his family.. we wanted that too.. and we surely couldnt live our lives if we didnt do anything possible to cure him.. we were afraid, if he didnt try that drug... he might miss the opportunity to be better... the doctor sort of instillled that feeling to us... my dad was already terminally ill at that time... the definition of terminally ill patients is the patients who have less than 6 months to live.. the focus of treatment should be palliative and more gentle or his roughed soul and body... but we tried the drug... it costs RM10,000 just for a month supply... and my dad passed away before he even finished taking the drugs... later we found out that the drugs was very new and there was not really enough or strong evidence as to its efficacy... so basically, that doctor was trying out a new drug on a terminally ill patient which bring more harm to the patient... yes, my dad was miserable after taking those crazy expensive tablets...

so there you go... why ethics are important in medicine... ethics make sure that doctors remain humans and leave the role of God to Him...

RAYA: wassup???!!

2011-09-07T16:37:00.002+08:00

Salam... before i begin.. i just wanna wish who ever reads my blog.. SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI.. so this year there are 29 days of Ramadhan only.. hurm.. i wish i could have been longer.. but surprise, surprise.. raya this year has many twists!!

when we talk about raya.. we talk about the food.. when there is an open house, the food provided by the hosts are sufficient to feed an entire refugee camp.. seriously!! satay, nasi himpit, kuah kacang, lodeh, rendang, ketupat, lemang, nasi kerabu, nasi minyak, nasi hujan panas, nasi air, nasi lemak.. hadoi.. macam pesta makanan pulak.. air oren, air sirap, air ribena (kelas kau jah) hahaha.. during the fasting month you might lost a few kilos but you'll gain all of it back at once in a single day of syawal.. hahaha.. sia-sia je..

so what's interesting this raya??? i've had some very annoying illnesses.. had to take antibiotics and all.. hadoi la.. sakit jiwa je rasa.. i had a bleeding which was very hard to stop to the point that my very cute baju raya was stained by a generous amount of blood.. i keep bleeding love!!! cewah.. haaa.. if raya last year siap accident pekebenda lagi kan.. this year alhamdulillah.. no accident.. the road seems forgiving this year.. or is it just my imagination???!!! heeee

ok.. so ape lagi?? well this year, people wont even look at me to give the duit raya.. hadoi... sedih.. suddenly i am too old for one.. and the refreshing thing is that i actually gave duit raya to others.. not on behalf of my mum.. but from my pocket money.. huish..who says growing up is fun huh???? but it is nice to do something different.. instead of getting, i am actually giving.. cool la jugak rasenye.. :)

haaaa.. one more thing.. you know how people go to the graveyard on eid to pay respect to their loved ones who had passed away.. well i discovered something interesting. there was a group of people strangely wearing the same clothing like boria or nasyid group.. went to the grave of their relative i presume and started to lit up the 'setanggi' and do some weird stuff like extremist or the correct word in Islamic belief is bida'ah.. hadoi.. seksanye..

lots more happen but you have to wait until another post because i have to go now... take care everybody..

GIRLS OVER FLOWERS

2011-08-24T22:31:00.003+08:00

salam..

ROSES ARE RED,

VIOLETS ARE BLUE,

DON'T BE MAD,

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU...

well.. i have to admit i have been driven by all sorts of emotions to write this new post.. whatever emotions i have right now i can assure you that anger is not one of it. those who really know me should know that i dont get angry easily.. i have no idea why.. it is so hard not to feel anger.. well i am just one of those entitled with romantic hearts.. well, some people doesnt really appreciate it.. when we talk about romanticness.. the flowers, chocs, candle lit dinner... those sort of things will flash into your mind isnt it?? but for those who think that romance is a reason for you to puke all over my blog so i suggest that you stop reading my blog now.. hey.. it's my blog.. i write whatever suits me.. i dont write to please people..

so.. today i wanna talk about flowers... my fav flower is lily.. they dont really give out strong scents accept lilies of the valley.. but still i adore them because of their simplicity.. personally speaking, i have given flowers to quite a number of people.. despite genders and age... you see.. there are a lot of ways how people reacted once they received flowers from some one.. my mum for example, i gave her a dozen of red and pink roses for mother's day last year and she kept going on about how i wasted my money for hours until the roses were actually wilted.. lack of love i presumed.. haha.. well, my mum was born to a humble family with less than average income.. so spending rm50 for flowers is something rather ridiculous..

and there is this one lovely lady, whom i know from her children. i sent her flowers on her birthday and i think she kept it for about a year or so.. everytime i went to her house and saw those dried dead roses, my heart felt the contrary.. i felt alive knowing that people appreciate things i gave them..

you see, not many women have ever received a good bouquet of flowers in their entire lives.. myself for instance.. never actually get one but i have given lots to others... again.. helpless romantic that i am.. so when they do get the flowers for the first time.. you can see the glitter in their eyes... i have a good friend of mine in college.. she's a real sweetheart but many people see her as a stone cold girl because of her principles in life that make people misjudge her so poorly.. but i always see the great side of her... although she is rough on the outside, she's the sweetest a girl could ask for a greatest friend.. she is boyish, hard and stern.. she once told me that she didnt see the point of giving flowers as a gift.. haha.. how unlucky i felt to hear that on the same day i bought a rose for her with a lady bug shaped choc (the ones my student body sold to raise some money for a good cause).. haha.. but when she received it.. her eyes were tranfixed on it.. and she took pictures of the rose and made one of them as her phone's wallpaper.. see?? the power of flowers..

all girls wished that the one who send them flowers is their boyfriend/fiance/husband.. haha.. very unfortunate for a few of my friends when they found out that the flowers come from me.. but they really appreciate it.. that i tell you.. they really appreciate it as if i have given then a pot of gold.. so.. how does boys react when they received flowers???? well... they do nothing.. haha.. because they dont know how to react and what to do with them... hahahahaha.. this info i had to learn it the hard way... heeeeee.. so no need la to buy flowers for guys on simple occasion but you can consider a simple bouquet for their graduations.. NOTHING ELSE... hahaha..

but boys love to see girls with flowers.. as the flowers make the girls appear gentler and more natural... they would go gaga over girls with a beautiful face sniffing a rose... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA... shallow as it seems.. this is the truth.. so girls if you are desperate to look good.. try some flowers on your outfits.. they might actually work.. coz boy i've seen it happened before... STABBED!!

flowers are really nice to look at and some of the ave very nice scent. but.. they can be deadly.. daffodills, lilies of the valley and etc.. see the resemblance between women and flowers?? hahaha.. i leave it for you to judge... let the flowers bloom in your hearts.. dalam hati ada taman..

RAMADHAN: stories down the memory lane..

2011-08-18T20:05:00.002+08:00

salam, it's been a while. let's just say i kinda lost interest about THE OUTSIDE WORLD.. but RAMADHAN is here.. bulan paling grand dengan pahala yang extravaganza.. when we talk about ramadhan, we can never leave behind things like fasting, breakfast, sahur, lailatul qadr, terawih, and being a Malaysian obviously i cant leave out the fact about BAZAAR RAMADHAN.. even the non muslims are looking forward for ramadhan to attend the bazaar.. haha.. WARNING: this is not my assumption okey, this is what my non muslim friends said to me tau.. haha..

to a lot of people, Ramadhan is their priority rather than Syawal.. when i was a kid, this concept was totally hard to comprehend.. because during ramadhan there's no duit raya and kuih raya maaaa... haha.. and of course time ramadhan la muka macam ayam berak kapur sebab tahan thirst and hunger... haha.. (no chicken is involve in the making of this post... hahaha).. but as i learn the true meaning of ramadhan.. lailatul qadr.. ISLAM.. i would be a fool if i take ramadhan for granted... ramadhan is when the doors of heaven open wide.. and the doors of hell (nauzubillah) close shut... RAMADHAN is a MIRACLE.. 30 days of nothing but miracles..

people have a lot of memories about ramadhan.. sweet.. bitter or ... tasteless.. because ramadhan is the only exception.. the month where everything seems to be out of the ordinary.. hence creating outstanding memories...

the memory which makes me smile every time ramadhan comes is CHASING THE LAILATUL QADR... there was this one time when i was in early teenage life... so long ago.. so naive.. (i feel so old this very moment)..and like everybody else i was so eager to meet lailatul qadr.. night of a thousand nights... the night when angels come down to earth and pray for those who have Allah in their hearts... the night when all doas are granted... simply said.. it is the night when heaven comes to earth.. so, back to the story... one night, after i went terawih with my dad, i saw this streak of light in the sky.. a beam of light shone the sky and moving left to right... my heart started to pump faster.. i thought "THIS IS IT... IT'S THE LAST 10 DAYS OF RAMADHAN, TONIGHT IS RAINING A BIT.. THE AIR SEEMS REFRESHING... YA ALLAH, THIS IS LAILATUL QADR ISNT IT.." well u can tell la i'm so excited and freaking out about the light... i called my dad who entered the house before me (i have a habit of looking at the stars and moon alone)... i told him about the light.. then..... there was tears in his eyes.. not because of how touched he was about meeting lailatul qadr.. i reaized soon enough that those were the tears he tried to hold back from LAUGHING.. so outrageously at me... he told me "ANIS SAYANG, THE LIGHT COMES FROM KB MALL LAAAA" hahaha.. at that time, kb mall (one of te shopping centers in kota bharu) was newly opened.. so the light was sort of it's promo... hahaha.. malu seyh!!! usually.. during the last ten days of ramadhan... i would try to keep my eyes open... preventing myself from letting the night goes without efforts to be closer to Allah...kalau tertido tu rasa macam nak nanges,,,

tu baru cite pasal ramadhan... ni nak cte pasal puasa la pulak.. you know.. being a girl and all... i dont have the chance to fast one whole month of ramadhan because of my "monthly visitor" so my dad had insisted me to fast since i was little.. so that i can feel what it is like to fast for the whole month of ramadhan.. there was this time... when syawal was only few days away and so far i had been fasting.. i hadnt missed one single day..but that particular day.. i was temted to break my fast even before zohor.. huhu.. just because i saw my cousin drinking pepsi...PEPSI!!! hahaha... punye la tempted.. sampai.. i drank it also.. and later i cried.. i cried my heart out.. and my dad said.. HAAA.. PADAN MUKA.. hahaha.. dush3.. dengan pepsi pun boleh tergoda..pastu masa first day of syawal.. duk tepi kolam then nanges puas2.. when my dad asked me why i cried.. i said "ramadhan dah habis.. dah tak boleh puasa.. nak puasa lagi" ... huuuu... so thats it for now... :) eid ramadhan everybody.. have a good one..

aaaah.. ROMANCE

2011-07-15T11:22:00.002+08:00

salam... i'm sure, based on my previous posts, you might get some ideas on my blogging style. i write based on my readings (well, i ONLY post on books or info which i find interesting) and my experience in daily lives.. so much so.. but i try not to fix my personal feelings about the topics ....but rather my personal views which are still debatable and i would love to just trigger you to think likewise or otherwise.. well, i have to admit lately i've been writing a lot about love, feelings.. because i am being surrounded by them.. the feelings of others ..and myself... but it's just human nature isnt it..???

for those who know me, they know that i would write or talk about my parents in a very emotional way.. how i miss my Abah... how i'm worried about Ma... etc.. but today, i'm going to talk about something cute..something refreshing about them.. something about ROMANCE.. have you ever asked your parents how they had met? how their love blossomed?? what are their sweet memories??? heee.. i'm the youngest in my family and i spend 20 years out of my 21 years of life with my parents.. so, i tend to know a few facts about them before "Aku terima nikahnya..." and the stories before i was born and rock their world... well a few stories should be kept exclusive to my family.. but i just want to share this one story which i had only seen in movies.. romantic movies from HOLLYWOOD.. not malaywood ok.. and mind you, not BOLLYWOOD too.. just the right amount of romanticness that makes me say awwwwww...soooo sweet...

so here goes, hope my mum doesnt scold me for making this a permanent note in the internet.. hahaha... but i want to share!!! hee.... ok..

my mum was just a simple country girl with a very natural beauty.. and my abah was a very handsome kampung boy who managed to climb the ladder and created his own standards.. when my mum was pregnant with their 4th child... yes, yes...my ever so annoying brother... she had a craving for those LIMAU BALI that is famous in Perak and Penang up until now.... she was staying in Kelantan at that time to stay near her family during her pregnancy... so it was impossible la to get that LIMAU BALI.. because kelantan and perak is not that near PEOPLE!!! AND SHE WAS PREGNANT..AND MY BROTHER WAS A HEAVY BABY..HAHAHA...and my dad who was an air force pilot who was working outstation at that time.. BUT... on a very fine afternoon, one helicopter had landed right behind my parents' rented house in Kelantan where my mum stayed... the 'kampung' is very far from town or city hence no one had ever seen a helicopter before (yes, my dad was a heli pilot)...and then came my dad... carrying several LIMAU BALI from perak for my mum!!!! and he was wearing his macho pilot suit.. cute kan.... hahaha... well done Abah!!!! soooooo romantic!!! hadoilaa.. yes.. i love to indulge on cute romatic love stories... hahaha.. ok. till then.. seriously got to go now...

OLIVE

2011-07-13T11:43:00.004+08:00

salam... hye there.. lately i'm a bit preoccupied to post a new entry.. but here i am.. over the last few weeks i heard a lot about olive.. olive plant, olive oil.. it's a famous remedy especially in islamic treatment and also some other alternative treatment for skin.. so.. let me have the pleasure of explaining further about olive.. saje la kan nak share knowledge... for knowledge is not a treasure you should keep for yourself.. it'll become more valuable to share it.. hehehe.. but i would like to share the fun facts about olive, the scientific ones, you have to dig further in the net la...

first of all.. the word olive reminds me of popeye's girlfriend.. the one with round head and very skeleton-like limbs.. hehehe.. her full name is Olive Oyl.. hahaha.. funny isnt it.. she has a very funny voice... well, popeye has rugby ball-shaped arms so i guess the two are soulmates..

the thing about olive is that it is considered as a holy plant as Allah has mentioned about it in the Quran.. in Surah At-Tin (At-tin means the fig)

Bismillah..
BY THE FIG AND OLIVE,
AND THE MOUNT OF SINAI,
AND THE CITY OF SECURITY,
WE HAVE INDEED CREATED MAN IN THE BEST OF MOULDS,
THEN WE DO ABASE HIM IN THE LOWEST LOW
EXCEPT SUCH AS BELIEVE AND DO RIGHTEOUS DEEDS FOR THEY SHALL HAVE A REWARD UNFAILING,
WHAT THEN, CAN AFTER THIS MAKE YOU DENY THE LAST JUDGEMENT,
IS NOT ALLAH THE WISEST OF JUDGES...

so, here goes a few fun facts about olive..
1. during the excavation of ancient Egyptian graves, vessels full of olive oils were found.. you see, the ancient Egyptian usually burried there treasure and belongings with them so that they can use all of those treasure in the after life.. this means that olive oil is considere as one of their pride and treasure.. interesting kan??
2. according to the scholars of Hadith, it is believed that after the Toofan-E-Nooh (banjir besar zaman Nabi Nuh), as the water level came down, the first thing on earth that was seen is the olive plant!
3. the prophet Rasulullah s.a.w said that olive can cure up to 70 dieases and one of them is leprosy (Kusta)
4. it helps in curing wounds, eczema, pile(haemorrhoids a.k.a buasir), cold, skind problems, insect bites, streghten the hair, ear ailments, fungal infection, dandruff, allopecia, eye inflammation, muscular pain,constipation, ascites (problem due to water retention a.k.a too much water in the body particularly the abdomen), removes kidney and gall bladder stone..etc..

so many things to talk about when it comes to its benefits... renung-renungkan!!
p/s: smiling because of you...

LOVE in LIFE

2011-07-01T20:08:00.004+08:00

salam... hye again.. i've been thinking hard how should i write regarding my experience in the past few days..well, i've mentioned about my mum seeking alternative treatments.. havent i?? so, last tuesday my mum, bro and i.. went to this islamic treatment center.. this is the place where lots of people with cancer in late stages seek help... when people feel that something outside the terrestrial is actualliy haunting them (saka, jin).. well... i dont want to give my ideas or opinions on the treatment(cause my mum might scold me).. but i want to share my experience being with these patients for almost 3-4 hours in the middle of the night.. yes!! my mum's turn was around 12 midnight!!!! and finished around 12.30.. but we were there since 9.. so many people were waiting for their turn... waiting is painful.. excruciating.. if i feel so.. then think how a man with last stage of colon cancer feels??

but you see.. these people are accompanied by their family members.. it's always touching to see how hard they fight to survive and how patient the family is... where do i even begin to express how touched i am.. how amazed i am with the power of love and perseverance..i know.. you might ask, HELLO, YOU STUDY IN A HOSPITAL.. YOU'LL SEE THIS KIND OF ENVIRONMENT EVERYDAY... well.. ladies and gentleman.. what i wanna reveal might shock you but i honestly think that, TO BE ACTUALLY SITTING AMONG THESE PATIENTS, BLENDING IN WITH THEM, HEAR WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER, SEE THEIR FAMILY AND FRIENDS HUGGING THEM, HOLDING THEIR HANDS, BELIEVING IN THEIR LAST CHANCE OF A HEALTHY AND 'SAFE' LIVES... is something i rarely seen in an ordinary hospital wards.. these people, with the feeling as if that is their only chance of leading a better life would wait for their turns until 3 in the morning.. and they talked to each other.. about their diseases and reassuring one another that everything is gonna be ok.. BELIEF.. THEY BELIEVE IN ALLAH... and i feel a pang of sadness as i was rubbing my mum's back..

what did i see there?? i saw a husband, pushing his wife who was on her wheelchair.. from what i could observe.. the wife was paralysed.. and the husband.. oh my, he looked rather tired with those bloodshot eyes..hurm.. he probably havent shaved in months.. but still smiling while pushing the wheelchair..saying "kita balik ye sayang" to his lovely wife.. his wife smiled in return.. from that smile, i can see faith.. hey, i'm not kinsella or ahern who write about love stories.. i'm just me, writing about what i believe.. what i see and feel.. i know she had faith in the treatment she had just received.. you can see it in her eyes.. the shine of hope..

and i saw a couple.. in their mid thirties... the husband was still in his office attire.. well, clearly he was accompanying his lovely wife.. i can tell that she didnt normally wear a tudung but that time, she was wearing the 'telekung' for solat as the treatment requires the female patients to be in the telekung.. the husband would laugh with her, take her pictures using the phone, share the same drinking water with her.. just be there for her.. comforting her.. holding her hands.. never letting go for a second.. she was looking pale.. even if she tried to hide it with her make up.. i can tell that she was really tired.. but still cracked a beatiful laughter upon hearing her husband's jokes or rather enjoying every moment when the husband teased her...i want that too you know... the life partner in sickness and in health.. they make me believe in that.. very charming couple..

then, there's a daughter.. a few years older than me perhaps, holding her father's hand.. he was severyly disoriented.. he didnt know where he was.. what's his name.. he just knew his daughter.. he had cancer.. of what, i'm not sure.. i just heard the word cancer(yes, i've become one of those mak cik joyah who eavesdropped in other people's conversation)whatever it is it surely gave a huge blow on his cognitifve function.. disrupt his central nervous system.. and his daughter.. oh boy, his daughter attended him like he's the king of the world.. he didnt say any words at all.. but the only phrase that she kept repeating is 'sayang abah'..well, she did say other words.. but these are the ones that she kept saying... thats a bit melodramatic isnt it.. but sometime life is melodramatic..

oh, not to mention, a 47 malay pakcik and his wife.. he had colon cancer. and the doctor said that all they can do is to give him more chemotheraphy since a big portion of his colon has been removed.. he was a first timer at the islamic treatment center..same like my mum.. he was curious about the treatment and the process but i hear him saying to another patient.. USAHA, USAHA..ALLAH TAKKAN SIA-SIAKAN HAMBANYA YANG BERUSAHA.. being there like being in a motivational book!!! where everybody is teaching you about life.. directly!! huuu..

oooohhh.. there were also parents who bring their children to seek treatment.. there was this one mother, although she cut the line and selambe je go in front of me, taking my turn but i couldnt help but to feel for her as she was begging the clerk at the tretment center to let her son see the ustaz without any appointment.. (yes, you have to make an appointment several months earlier to meet this famous ustaz).. kasih ibu pada anak...sampai syurga..

talk about parents... there was this dad.. who brought his child for the fourth time already.. driving all the way from Johor..just to make sure his handicapped child would have a slightly better life.. better chance.. and right after the treatment, he had to rush back to work the next morning... hadoi... what parents do for you...i wanna quote thi incredible dialog i over heard in tv today "I'VE DONE EVERYTHING FOR MY CHILDREN, BUT THEY HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT HURT ME"..let's become anak soleh and solehah shall we.. for parents have done so much things for us even before we were born... have i mentioned that most of this people, came from far.. johor, terengganu, kedah.. to seek the treatment..

life..lifE..liFE...lIFE..LIFE...ironic

20 years.. 2 people.. 1 amazing story

2011-06-28T15:08:00.002+08:00

salam.. i've came across a book.. an english novel.. genuisly written.. well, i suppose i cant mention about the title or the author of the book because i am going to share with you the bits of it.. it's somehow related to the life of someone i know perfectly well...

it's about a girl and a boy.. who met when there were about 19 or 20 years old.. had awkward moments together but ended up being the real best friends.. i know.. i know.. typical novels... the type of 'they became best friends and then turn into lovers..etc..etc..' hahaha.. but this book is different.. it's just beautiful... i was heartbroken.. but this book help to cheer me up.. and i dont say this very often for a fictional book..

so what happened?? they became very close with each other.. very very close.. but not romantically.. just tremendous affection towards each other. they have had relationships with other people... one of them almost get married. another one did get married but it didint work through... but through all those hardships.. LIFE... they always wished to be with one another... when she was lonely, she would wish that the guys was with her.. vice versa.. but they didnt realize the feelings until they were in their late thirties.. almost 10 years of wonderful relationship... soon as they realised it.. the love.. they decided to clean up their acts... put themselves together and have a fresh start.. oh well.. yes.. they got married... but for a very short while because death had taken her away from him.. i always like it.. when the girl dies first.. you know... kinda my cup of tea.. well, the guy was devastated.. seriously.. well.. you might think that it is just another typical love story... NAAAAAHHHHH.. it's really GOOD!!! I ENJOYED IT SO MUCH...

they werent exactly the lovey dovey couple coz they quarrel a lot.. but hey.. in real life.. thats what you get. and i'm more than pleased that the writer writes about real love rather than some stupid love stories.. you know.. the kind of.. you get her blood from an emergency blood transfusion and all of a sudden u can feel her feelings.. all of them.. hahaha.. tu macam tak logic sgt la... or falling in love with your son'd imaginary friend is also ridiculous... and thats that.. i would totally recommend it for you.. if you want to now the titles, i'l personally give it to you.. and off i go now.. healing my heart..

what you can't have

2011-06-28T12:02:00.003+08:00

salam.. i noticed that lately the title of my post doesn't goe well with the content.. hahaha.. sorry!!! well.. today i'm in the mood to write... thanks david!! in later post i wanna talk about a great book i've read yesterday.. but before that.. i would love to talk about dreams and wishes..

dreams and wishes.. i'm being sentimental here.. or more less sakitmental.. hahaha.. for those who doesnt understand what sakitmental is.. it's a flavour of ice cream.. very famous.. here.. in my head.. hahaha. sengal.. anyway.. today i'm not going to talk about dreams that you wanna achieve in let say.. what?? about 10 years from now... hahaha. i'm talking about the wishes and hopes yang memang sah takkan tercapai.. you know... like hoping to be the his majesty king of USA.. or something.. things like that laaa...

you know.. i studied in 3 primary schools..one religious secondary school.. all girls school (yeaaaaahh.. i know, right?) and foundation study in UM, med student in USM.. huwaaaaa... but along the way.. my wish of studying at a prestige boarding school is destroyed... where?? TKC?? Sri Puteri?? Tun Fatimah?? top notch MRSM?? NO NO NO NO.. it's MCKK.. wakakaka... see what i meant by dreams that cant be fullfilled..?? especially now laaa.. since i'm like in my early twenties already... (feel so old!!!) hahaha... why MCKK??? hahaha...coz my dad went there..

i also wish for a twin brother... sah la tak dapat!!!!! hahaaa.... the one who i can talk to.. have arguements with... see.. these kind of wishes never come true la obviously...

why do people have these kind of wishes?? not contented with life as it is?? hahaha.. probably... but these things.. just makes life sooooooo colourful and funny.. one of my silly friends...(apparently these silly people makes me laugh more than those shallow geniuses) said that she wished to have four husbands... at the same time!!! just to get back at the guy who broke her heart la.. pity you dear but that's entirely impossible...BERDOSA tau!! hahaha... she's heart broken... hahaha.. HEART BROKEN i tell you...!!! it makes people crazy!!! it makes me crazy!!!!

so i dont see the wrong side of these wishes.. they are the source of my laughter!!! hahaha.. better than maharaja lawak!! but dont go overboard with it.. nanti the feeling of tak bersyukur will easily appears... been there done that regret those... hahaha..but hey.. this post would surey trigger you to think about those impossible wishes that u had or might still have right...hahaha.. well... find them!!! and just laugh!! have a blast!

TIRED but...

2011-06-26T20:57:00.002+08:00

salam... hey again... well i have a feeling that this post won't be as long as my previous post.. yeah well.. i'm a bit tired.. some of you might find this rather strange.. how come ezma boleh tired??? and while on a long break plak tu?? hehe... well my heart simply feels tired lately.. emotionally tired is much more deadly than physically tired..

wanna share a little experience i had this few days.. but let me tell you a little story..

once upon a time.. there lived an evil emperor who wished to live longer than others.. but all his sorrceres were unable to make the elixir of life that can make him immortal..of cause he didnt have the expertise of lord voldemort or dumbledore.. but still. this emperor wanted to live longer than everybody else.. no one can exceed his age.. if anyone did lived longer than him.. he would say... "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS"...so, to make sure people couldnt live longer and healthier than he was.. he ordered the sorcerers to create poisons that caused various illnesses.. let the people died of some horrible diseases.. he wanted NOBODY NOBODY BUT HIM..LALA.. to live a healthy long live..if immortality was impossible.. than HEALTH WAS THE WEALTH.. and then the people would struggle to find the cure for those diseases.. these people are locally known as SENSEI..these sensei had the background nowledge about how to treat the disease.. and one day.. the emperor fell seriously ill.. he asked the SENSEI GANG.. consisting of ASADA RYUTARO as the head SENSEI and other incredible SENSEIssszz.. to treat him.. but the sensei couldnt do much because the disease was deadly and not even a BATISTA procedure could save the emperor.. so the emperor cursed the SENSEI.. ALL OF YOU WILL BE DOOMED.. DOOMED.. YOU WILL SPEND YOUR LIFE TIME AND THE LIFE TIME OF YOUR NEXT GENERATIONS TO FIND THE CURE FOR THE ILLNESS THAT I HAVE SPREAD.. and later, after extensive evolution and development.. the sensei are called doctors.. well.. i just made up this story.. why?? because sometime when you are in this field.. although only by a few percentage.. you'll feel that sometimes.. it is like the doctors are cursed.. having their hearts broken after loosing so many patients and later their hearts are as hard as SI TENGGANG..or MALIN KUNDANG.. and they give comments like.. I AM SO SORRY.. THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO... hello!!!!!!! memang sometimes dah doctor pun keupayaan terbatas.. nak buat mcm manee kan. but the fustation is always there kan..it's hard to be a doctor but it's the hardest being the patient..

my heart is tired.. soooo tired that i wish i can pause it's beating.. wanna tel my heart.. i know you are tired.. let's hit the pause button.. hahaha.. boleh tak buat cmtu??? hahaha..

Breast Cancer

2011-06-22T12:47:00.002+08:00

Salam.. i have mentioned before that i want my blog to bring benefits and information as well as inducing minds to think of new ideas and opinions. today, i'm going to talk about what i read..

BREAST CANCER.. it is the number one cancer that takes the lives of many women.. young and old.. so let's gain some knowledge about this cancer...

what are the risk factors for breast cancer??
1.Genetic: where a mutation of BRCA-1 at chromosome 17 and BRCA-2 at chromosome 13 occurs.. i'm sure you've heard that this cancer has strong genetic susceptibility.. what does that mean?? to put it in a simple language, if your mum, aunties, grandma have breast cancer, you have high risk of developing one also... so do breast examination routinely.. well, dont be afraid.. science is just humans' knowledge... Allah knows better..
2.Prolong exposure to OESTROGEN.. what in the world is oestrogen?? heeee.. it's the female's hormone that plays role in menstruation and regulation of the sexual characteristic la.. what do i mean by prolong exposure??
a. people who experience early menarche.. means those who experience their first menstruation early compared to others
b.late menapause
c. nulliparous.. means a woman who doesnt deliver a baby or bear a baby in her womb more than 20 weeks...
d. delayed child bearing
e. no breast feeding (my elective!!!)
f. estrogen replacement therapy.. haaa.. ni pekebnda?? why people nak replace their hormons?? usually orang yg buat ni are those who are menopause already.. estrogen can prevent heart disease, osteoporosis.. but too much is too fatal..
g. oral contraception or birth control pills
h. obesity

3. others
a. smoking
b. alcohol consumption

i'm tapping my finger whether or not i should share about the progress of the disease.. how the disease develops..hurm.. share je lah.. probly it will help some of you to understand the disease better..

pathogenesis (development of disease)

the normal breast epithelium (lining of the breast cells) will be disrupted by mutation of c-erB2 gene and other environmental factor. this will induce the formation of cancer cells.. oestrogen along with environmental factors will cause the secretion of Growth Factor.. which enhance the groth of the cancer cells la.. this will lead to autocrine tumor development.. senang cte hormone oestrogen tu yg berlebihan akan buat tumor to develop further.. and leading to BREAST CANCER..

well breast cancer has the invasive and non invasive type.. ape maksud invasive?? it means that the growth of the tumor cells are very rapid.. and the prognosis (outcome)is not really good. i wont list the types of invasive and non invasive breast cancer here..

what are the signs and symptoms of breast cancer????
1. solitary (single), painless (it's always painless when it comes to cancer..memang tak sakit), moveable breast lump..
2.retracted nipple
3. peau d'orange (lymphadenoma arund hair follicle) means macam ade bengkak dengan tmpat tumbuh rambut.. timbul kecik2..
4. inflammation (ade merah-merah)
5. nipple discharge (not milk la obviously)
6. fix to pectoris muscle or skin..(macam melekat to something.)
7. axillary lymphadenopathy.. bengkak2 kat bahagian ketiak... ni maksudnye cancer dah merebak..

basically dia ade 4 stages.. this goes according to the size of the lump
stage in situ: under microscope, the basement membrane (lining of the breast cell) is not invaded
stage 1: lump is less than 2 cm with no regional lymph node enlargement
stage 2: lump is 2-5 cm
stage 3a: lump is more than 5 cm
stage 3b: lump is more than 5 cm with infraclavicular or supraclavicular node metastases.. means ade ketulan lymph node yg dapat rase kat bahagias atas pada dada dekat area base of the neck..
stage 4: any metastis(spread of cancer) at distant location. maksud nye cancer dah merebak ke bahagian yang lain kat tubuh...

let's not talk about prognosis or the survival rate.. i hate this part.. but have faith.. ade banya treatment yg proven to cure breast cancer patients including surgery.. remove the breasts.. chemotherapy.. and radiotherapy... :) insya Allah.. sebab Allah dah janji setiap penyakit ade penawarnya.. cuma since humans have limited capability to find knowledge.. the search for the utimate cure takes a longer time...

i hope this will give you the background knowledge about breast cancer.. all of you do know men can get this cancer too right?? life without cancer is my dream too.. like what people do to smallpoz.. i want to eradicate cancer too.. tak kesah cancer ape pun.. as someone who come from a family with history of cancer.. i do believe in this dream. in fact i live on this dream. i became a medical student because of this dream... insya Allah.. we all be alright... i try my best to use the language that everybody can understand.. i try to avoid medical jargons... if you want to share or ask something, ask away.. i'll try my best to explain to you... :)

HEART..lub dub

2011-06-21T15:26:00.003+08:00

salam.. it's been a tough week for my heart.. if i'm 99 years old.. i might be dead by now with all those stress on the heart..

i believe heart is the most crucial organ. some would say, no laaa.. brain is the most important organ.. i see it the other way around.. people with severe brain injury.. who end up having brain deaths.. their heart is still beating.. it's true that u'll never recover from brain death.. because it is as 'good' as death.. but still.. the heart is the organ, that doesnt give up on you.. it will try to compensate the blood loss, the oxygen demand.. it will push the kidney to maintain a steady blood volume.. it will push the lungs to bring in more oxygen.. the heart is the organ which never gives up on you unless it's 'time'.. i want to be the heart..

when my dad was fighting against cancer i would hear his heartbeat.. it was the most soothing sound on earth.. he had a very strong heart.. one that faught until the end..and then i have my mum.. her heart, although not so strong but always so pure.. i put on my stethescope and listen to her heart sound.. i know it's weak.. but it's very hard working.. although congested, but still beating as strong as it can..

heart is also what most of people say where the feelings come from.. well the feelings or emotions actually come from the limbic system.. the brain plays the major role. but let's stick to shakespear's view on feelings rather than the medical textbooks ok.. people in love give their heart in exchange of the other's.. and true love comes from those hearts that we hold dear kan.. love..sadness..hatred..happiness..although the brain does it all but those feelings can effect your heart very severely.. the heart is something you should take care of..either as the real organ or as the methaphor as to where feelings come from.. LOVE... aaaaaaahhh.. the four letter word that makes the world seems so nice.. love towards Allah is the greatest love there is.. love towards parents.. everybody know how i express my love towards my dad.. i basically want the whole world to know what a great man he was.. thats just me being my dad's darling baby.. and my mum.. when she has troubles from her heart.. i would hold my left chest.. i wanna rip it open... to give my heart to her.. i would cry everytime i hear her gasping for air.. i would give her my heart.. let her live happily and healthily.. and love for others.. once you find your true love.. no matter to whom it might be.. you wouldnt ask anything in return for it but her or his happiness.. when she or he gives you a hard time, you are still praying so that Allah will give her or him a good time.. i found out about that power of love just recently.. and it shocked me.. Allah memang ciptakan keindahan dalam setiap perkara..subhanallah..

have you ever think that as much as humans love you.. Allah loves you more.. because He is maha penyayang..and He created love and HEART..

one day.. i'm going to be a person who saves hearts.. millions of hearts.. so that people can live and love.. insya Allah.. amin

Parenting by the pool side...

2011-06-19T17:54:00.002+08:00

Salam... I didnt have an internet connection for almost a week.. So i havent been able to update my blog.. I have just spent an incredible weekend with my family... Yes.. The entire family.. Well i didnt do any interesting stuffs la but that doesnt mean that i didnt get any new experience.. You see everybody... I have 11 nephews and nieces.. Naughty ones.. Hadoi.. A good aunt that i am, i went to keep an eye on them la at the swimming pool... Well, more like splashing them with water ade laaa... Miahahaha...where do you think they get their naughy-ness? But of course they splashed me back and i'm soaked... Well, i'm sure all of you know this, when the children are in the pool, the parents are always there to keep their watchful eye.. And surprisingly, i learn a bit about parenthood which i'll use on myself first la.. Mane de anak lagi...

One of the father who look after his children saw that some teenagers.. Dumb ones i might add.. Spurted water from their mouths to his children and his children aged about five to eight years old fought back by doing the same laa... He called up his kids and said that it's time to go home... And when his kids were by his side, he said..."orang yang bijak takkan balas balik ape orang yang tak bijak buat kat diorang, ble orang buat jahat kat kita, jangan la balas balik...nanti kita jadi sama macam diorang.. Faham???" and the kids nodded... Cool kan?? I would just go and have a few words with those teenagers.. But this father.. He taught his kids how to be better...

And there was also a chinesse father.. He looked really bussy la.. His blackberry kept ringing.. And i heard he said.. "sorry, i'm with my kids now... We talk later about the contract at the office tomorrow" Eceeeeee...

And i learn a lot of things too from my own siblings as they watched over their kids too... I used to think being outside of the pool is so boring... But, i find it rather heartwarming to see my nephews and nieces play with each other and yeah... Work together in making sure everypart of my clothes is wet..cute kan?? HUUUUUUU well.. They are sweet.. Like my moon...so sweet!

sons from heaven

2011-06-13T10:36:00.002+08:00

salam.. hey there again.. well for this post.. i've decided to talk about men and their roles in the family.. well, in case you haven't noticed, i'm a girl.. so what's my bussiness talking bout men's role.. well.. i've been blessed with great men in my life.. from my Abah, and my brothers; Abe and Abe Nal..and my moon..not to mention good and polite guy friends la (overall).. so, i've had a fair share in my knowledge about their important roles in the family.. but today. i want to talk about the roles of sons in the family...

sons will always have more responsibilities towards the family.. either their own small family or their big family.. from taking care of the parents, wife, kids to the responsibilitiest towards other relatives.. all of those things are their roles.. they do get more for their inheritance or harta pusaka but they'll use that for their own family.. for their kids... unlike the ladies, we dont have to share our harta pusaka if we dont want to... (but i believe sharing is loving)..

the sons responsibilities towards their parents are the greatest responsibilities, second to their responsibilities as the Allah's servant.. they are the ones the parents have to rely on when the golden years touched their lives... when the parents are sick, having problems.. the sons are the first line of talian hayat..you might ask me.. so daughters buat ape kalau sons yang buat semua.. i'm not bias and give all the work to the men..but you have to understand this, after the daughters get married, their responsibilities are mainly towards the husband and children.. they do have to take care of their parents too, but unlike men, that part comes in the 3rd place.. what happens if in the family they only have daughters???? haaaaa... then thats a different story a bit la... the daughters have to play both roles i guess.. their husbands need to be supportive too

a son in law is also a son.. they have to be responsible towards their parents in law too.. Allah dah buat cantik dah.. so next time when the son is simply berbakti kepada ibu bapa mereka... you dont even have the right to say they are wrong...

do i pity the men in my life?? well, a little but mostly i'm proud of them.. very proud!!!!!!! and i hope to have sons like them.. minus the naughty part la

foR rIchEr or POOreR

2011-06-13T10:04:00.002+08:00

salam..for richer or poorer... i bet u've seen how the rich people live their luxurious lives (at least on tv la).. driving the ferrari.. living in a mansion.. and i bet u know the poor people who can afford to have a car, motorcycle or even bicycle...living in a hut..life is ironic..

u see.. i went to accompany my mom almost everyday for her treatment.. the ECP which i mentioned briefly in my previous post...there i heard a lot of stories bout Tan Sri, Puan Sri, Toh Puan, Dato', Datin.. all of those who tried to escape the modern medicine and seek for alternative ones and some of them are also trying to stop the nature's course:AGEING.. what my mum is on right now just a simple therapy..but these rich people... hadoi.. they do almost all the therapies.. this one Dato' just spent rm300000 plus for his therapy.. gila la kan... to prevent his disease from developing la kan.. some would say.. hey, if u have the money, then go ahead. but the thing is, he gets it all wrong. he wants to prevent his disease.then, live healthily la.. he's obese class 3.. loose some weight a bit, stop eating fatty food, stop smoking or at least reduce it la... then u'll be on the right track. ni tak, you go on therapy, but you still live a sedentary lifestyle..

and on the other side, we have this uncles and aunties looking for that rm300000 for their surgery. to remove their tumors, to go on chemotherapy, radiotherapy.. chronic illness.. but because they couldnt afford it.. they just succumb to what is left for them to live on.. lying on the bed waiting for the angel of death to take them away from their loved ones..

i feel sad laa.. RATHER THAN WE PRACTISE GIVE AND TAKE.. WHY NOT SOMETIMES WE VENTURE ON THE GIVE AND GIVE...thats why bayar la zakat

and i do hate those rich people who brag about their belongings, properties, where they send their children to study with their own money.. i mean.. PLEASE LA... all those things won't be counted as your deeds.. if you have money and power, be humble, for those are just loans from Allah..

well i also know the rich people who maintain their humbleness.. they have millions in their accounts.. but just wear the simple t-shirt and those selipar jepun.. not stingy cause they always lend their helping hands...i do believe in simplicity.. you help people, Allah will help you back..

ApE Pun tAk BoLEH

2011-06-12T00:38:00.004+08:00

salam.. hye again... "ape pun tak boleh" is the new hit phrase among Malaysians nowadays.. (yeker???) thanks to the hillarious comedians called Jambu.. i just found out about it very recently because my nephew said it a lot to me.. "su anis, nak gi swimming pool" .."tak boleh, panas ni" (dah mase tu pukul 12 tengah hari kan) then kena fire "alaaa..apepun tak boleh" hehe.. numerous times la he used his dialogue with me.. it's true you know.. in life.. you'll have the times when u feel like... everything is impossible.. u are not allowed to do so many things.. u cannot do everything. sometimes it can seriously hurt your feeling and give u huge stress..

well what i'm going to write here now is about my famy vacation plan.. when my dad was around, we rarely had the chance to get together and have a wonderful family vacation.. it's either my dad's working schedule is too hectic or my siblings cant get a few days off from work or both! so during my childhood era, i spent most of the holidays in the house, watching tv.. boring stuffs la..

however, recently.. about two years before my dad passed away, we had proper family vacation.. we went to A Famosa Resort.. my dad took my to the horse riding, go kart and paddled the boat in the so called lake.. loved it!! after he died, we try our best to have family vacation once a year.. so far not bad..

so this year, we were planning to have a vacation near nature.. waterfalls, mountain streams.. you know stuffs like that.. we initially planned to go to Janda Baik.. but due to poor planning and underestimation.. all the villas and chalets there were fully booked!!! hadoi... so we try to find other places la.. PD, Melaka..semua dah pegi.. so we try not to go there again.. however!!!!! tu je yg ade near KL... since my sibs taknak jauh2 sangat.. susah la kan... so we choose PD la... sekali kat PD, all the nice hotels with family suits are fully booked too!!! hurrrrghhhh.. sampai demam tau cari tempat nak tinggal.. as i am the one yang tak keje and currently off from campus life..i;m the one who has to look for the hotel la.. hadoi!!!! everyday.. morning till late night i surf the net in the hunt of good place with family suit or apartment... last..jumpa one.. as i was almost done booking the place... my sis said that the place's beach is extremely dirty... well it is PD anyway... hadoi... but no other option dah.. so.. pejam mata.. and bring it on... huuuu.. sad... takpe la.. nak buat cmne kan..

APE PUN TAK BOLEH!!!!!!

plan for next year la kalau cmtu.. BTW, i have all the background info of places to stay in Janda Baik and PD for lage family.. if you want to ask my opinion.. ask away keyh...

hunting down the greatest BAKLAVA

2011-06-08T10:55:00.006+08:00

salam...have you ever tasted baklava??? the super yummy mediterranean pastry.. oh my, if u havent.. try it la.. my taste buds macam nak kecut je waiting for the moment when i can taste it again..it??? no no no..THEM!! yosh!! so, a short history about baklava..

BAKLAVA.. (suka hati korang la nak pronounce macam mane) is a delightful pastry made of layers of filo or phyllo pastry (macam layered puffs la since fillo pastry ni macam helaian pastry manis)and the layers is filled with nuts or dried fruits and glaze with honey or syrup.. soft but cruchy a bit on the outside.. due to the layering..my favourite one is not as thick as shown in the picture la... nipis sket and cut into small squares.. yg dala gambar tu dah nampak macam kek...

it is believed to have been first made in the royal kitchen of Topkapi Palace during the era of Uthmaniyah empire... haa.. Topkapi Palace tu pekebenda pulak kan?? well, it's a palace but now it is turned into a museuem which keeps a lot of important islamic artifacts and treasures of the Uthmaniyah empire..like the sword of Sayidina Umar.. the tooth of the Prophet where he lost it during one of the wars.. and so on la... and Topkapi Palace was the place where the khalifah of Uthmaniyah empire called home.. heee.. so if the baklava was first made them, we can consider it as the royal pastry la kan???

baklava ni... ada yang sedap tu...very nice!!! but somehow because it is hard to make and bring to perfecton, it can turn out seriously wrong and bad... some of you, food lovers who watched junior master chef australia might have noticed one of the young contestant made baklava... susah tu!!! in malaysia, quite hard la since the ingredients tu takde kat kedai runcit berdekatan anda.. hahaha... so since i'm in KL now, my mission of hunting down the greatest baklava begins... yummy!!! ek.. what about my plan to loose weight??? alaaa... makan baklava je... bukan makan beriyani dua talam...heee.. and for my friends who study abroad.. aussie ke, egypt ke, jordan ke, czech ke...i'm sure you'll come across a Turkish or Pakistani or any Middle East pastry shop or bakery shop...try the baklava.. for those yg duk malaysia.. my sources tell me that good baklava is available in KL and Selangor...

good luck!!

2011-06-08T10:29:00.002+08:00

salam... so this is my plan for 'everywhere everytime everyday wishing you luck'..

i'm a lazy person, so i know the hardworking people..it's you
i'm crazy over exams, so i know when someone is dead serious about exams..it's you
i'm very attached to the person i love especially around exams, so i know when someone is so determined not to have any distraction for exams..it's you..
i'll cry if i have a tinge of giving up during exams, so i know when someone who is strong hearted and never give up for exams..it's you
i'll go insane when i couldnt answer my papers or careless at doing so, so i know when someone is so patient and tawakal after the exam..it's you..
if anyone deserves success, it's you.. yeah you..so i wish, i hope, i pray.. that you'll do great.. always proud of you.. even if you have nothing, i'll say u're my everything which makes u have something.. kan??

good luck.. good luck.. good luck.. good luck.. for the upcoming exams.. for life..

when we talk about exams..oh man, there's so many things we want to undo.. especially the answers!!! hahaha... for me, since i have OSCE and OSCE Clinicals.. when u race up against time (5 minutes for OSCE..10 minutes for OSCE CLINICALS) macam sengal je ble dengar the bell rings and you have to go to the next station.. just when u realize u know the right answer... cam sengal gle!!!not to mention when the doctors smirked at your answers or the way you examine the patient..rase nak cakap..hai!!menjeling-menjeling ku bertentang..kalau tak buat muka x boleh ke??? and when u are freaking out sampai u forgot to write down ur matrix number or angka giliran.. yes.. i've done that during the last exam.. forgot to write my matrix number on the exam paper.. sengalnyeeeeeee.... and my friend told me her experience.. of not writing her matrix number for 3-4 papers... gle kan?? tapi sebab dia brilliant so lulus dengan cemerlang gak... haha..but indeed.. after all those doa..studying until late night(with eyes almost shut down) all we can do is tawakal kan... and for those yg still havent sit for their exams yet.. dont give up, and never loose hope.. because Allah is always by your side...insya Allah.. everything will be fine and you'll be blessed with success.. amin..and you know... i'm with u..always

ECP???CHELATING TREATMENT?? HYPERBARIC??

2011-06-07T22:16:00.002+08:00

Salam... i was half way wrinting this post and suddenly my lappy went kahooona on me.. shut down suka hati dia je.. oh well, kena taip again la kan.. first, i feel terharu since ada yg notice i've updated my blog yesterday.. hahaha..here goes another post from me.. well, some of you ight know this fact.. my mum is not in the pinkiest of health that she can be.. she refuses the modern medical treatment that the specialist have consulted her to do.. BY PASS HEART SURGERY OR OPEN HEART SURGERY.. well the term explains the meaning already.. it's a huge surgery where the surgeon will open up the chest via the bone call sternum.. basically gerudi his war to the heart.. take the vein in your leg and place it at your heart creating a rnew route for the blood to flow into the heart.. thats why it is called by pass.. it's kinda freaky since u cut open the chest and the heart is practically stopped.. huuuu.. no wonder la my mum says no to it.. i am also 50-50 about this procedure..it's an invasive procedure and my mum's age and underlying conditions are my greatest concern.. anyways.. my mum shooese to try out alternative treatments.. the one i have recently see with my own eyes is the ECP. or external counter-regulatory pulsation.. where ur lower limbs.. i.e or leg and thigh would be strapped to a machine that shakes your boy in an attept to help your heart and improve the ciculaion by reducing the burden of the heart.. it doesnt work like the shake-shake machine shown on tv.. my mum is on oxygen and her heart activity is closely monitered by the doctor.it aims on creating an artificial heart which will counter-regulate the action of heart..when the heart pumps, the machine will stop for a while.. when the heart doesnt beat.. the ECP wil make it beating... not only that.. the clinic that my mum goes to almost everyday ni has other therapy to offer for people who suffered from diabetes, heart failure, stroke and so on. apasrt from ECP they also have chelating therapy where a form of liquid of heavy metals is injected and the heavy metals ions will try to breakdown the fibrofatty plaque blocking the areteries or veins.. another on is hyperbaric chamber where the oxygen supply is the key to it's effectiveness especially on people who have diabetes, overweight or obesity, heart problem and others...so you see... although i would soon practice modern medicine i still believe in the therapy..

birthday and adultHOOD...

2011-06-06T16:15:00.002+08:00

salam.. last time my birthday was just a day before my final exam..my most belovedsszz were away.... i know, what a bummer huh??? well i don't care that much about celebrating birthdays anyway.. but during that critical period.. when u have lots to cover for ur exam and u just had some exhausting hours to finish them up.. haaaaaiiiiisssshhhh... that was when u wish to have all the familiar faces around you... have the loved ones by ur side... eating birthday cakes.. it doesnt matter how many presents that u get.. how big is your birthday cake... how many people turn up at ur birthday party.. all those things.. are just.. insignificant details that u should care about when it comes to ur birthday.. u just want people to remember it.. just want people to have good wishes for u... just want to be around those great people who make ur days better.. huuuuuuuuu... my prespective about birthdays has changed tremendously... well.. at first i thought.. haaish.. it's just birthday.. who cares.. then i got these calls..from beloved ones.. sms.. wishes in fb.. as simple as 'HB'..made my heart goes..OOOOOOHHHHHH YEAH!! i really love the first and the last birthday wishes... really..really love them.. although my head was full with exams.. but those wishes made me smile through out the day..and i want to thank my roomate also.. the kindest girl ever... for buying me Vandetta ice cream cake.. just for my birthday... she even get me a present!! right before our exam started.. when everyone else was busy preparing for the exam.. 3 tastiest nicest chocs..simple but the thought are humungus!! thanks hazlin... thanks bulan... and thanks everybody for wishing me on my birthday.. may Allah be with us always yeah..

a fairytale.. or fairyTAIL??

2011-06-06T15:50:00.002+08:00

salam...this is a story.. of once upon a time.. where there was a charming prince.. who captured the hearts of thousands of girls.. one day, on 26th aug, the prince met this simple girl... with just an ordinary appearance, simple minded... however.. there was something about the girl.. despite looking average, there was something about her.. a spark.. (i hope).. the prince was tempted to befriend her...so they became friends quickly as the chemistry, physics and bilogy were there... the girl was able to made new friends too other than the prince himself..most of them were the daughters of the important men of the country.. she felt honoured to be well accepted in that new foreign land so quickly...but she didnt realized that some of her new friends were actually jealous of her friendship with the prince.. they pulled pranks on her.. mocked her for even imagining being with the prince.. but they friendship stood still..against all those hurtfull attempts to break them apart.. and then the prince went away.. to the land of pumpkins and kangaroo... leaving the girl behhind bestfriendless.. they went their separate ways for a while.. true love is like a destiny... they met again.. celebrated by fireworks... and festivals.. all which were made to celebrate the prince's homecoming... no one is more happier than the girl.. the girl had lost so many things, people..she had been waiting patiently for the prince to come home and comfort her with his pearl of wisdoms and kind words.. knowing that she was just a simple girl, the girl was a bit afraid if the prince had forgotten her.. but HOPE.. she hoped that the prince remembered her.. for HOPE is LIFE... and until this day the girl has hopes... to be with her destiny.. the prince...haaaaaaa... ok ke cte ni???? i would love to write children's fairytale books someday... about prince and princess.. about once upon a time.. about live happily ever after...about hopes and lives... about beliveing and trusting.. and every fairytale should have the good moral values.. not just warnings of not loosing your glass slippers.. or living with 7 dwarfs...put values.. friendship.. family.. then definitely.. the fairies will have a lot of tales to share with us.. the muggles..ahahahaa.. blabbering

cinema vs wayang

2011-06-06T14:33:00.002+08:00

salam... it's been a long time indeed huh... i almost forgot about this blog.. hee.. jahat tak?? no la.. i always want to update this blog.. but haven't got any idea what to write about because i want it to be not too personal blog..constructive blog..a well written blog.. well.. with 3 months of holiday.. memang banyak amatla things i want to voice out.. u see, i'm not a famous person.. so i dont want to make my blog all about me.. to write something that has a tinge of me is enough.. from now on.. i'll talk about something worth to ponder about.. an experience or opinion which everybody can relate to.. it's my blog.. i have the right, right??? wink3... so you see, a few months ago, my precious apex varsity.. (precious??? haha) we had this 1ST SYMPOSIUM ON THE ART OF HISTORY TAKING... i was one of the exco. so you see lots of medical students from other universities joined it. although the participants were much less than what we expected.. still... i get to know lots of new friends... Geetha from AIMST, BCB from AIMST.. ramai lagi la.. so oe of my new friends asked me.. "hey, ezma..where's the cinema here aaaa??" and i said... "we dont have one la" and they have this disbelief look.. hahaha.. actually, lots of my friends from other states asked me about this.. the fact that kelantan has no cinema..in fact budak2 usm pun always grumble about this... takleh tgk wayang.. takde life.. heee... i've been in kelantan for almost 10 years now.. and boy.. my life turns out ok.. haha.. ok so regading this cinema. what i told the AIMST students.. most of them are chinesse and indians la.. since one of them asked me.. 'berdosa ke tengok movies??' well u see.. from my point of view.. tgk wayang is not bad.. definitely not a crime unless it is pornography... but.. it can be wrong in so many ways. what the government of kelantan is trying to prevent is those dark areas where youths enjoying each others bodies more than they enjoy the movies... mesti nak ckp 'hey, bukan semua macam tu' but there's no guarantee right.. to ensure that the cinemas are maksiat-free.. the government might have to separate the seatings... lelaki duk side laki je.. and perempuan duk side perempuan.. but if you go with your family... how??? xshock la kan.. bawak anak2 tgk toys story tapi kena duk asing2.. pe hal?? so, make a panggung that separates males and females but have family seatings too?? how to be fair in that?? not impossible but a bit hard la since men love to break rules.. and then again... about the movies.. of coz la tgk cita 18 ke atas tu xdibenarkan sama skali.. thats why maybe the government thinks it's better not to have cinema to prevent the vulgar movies...macam mane you nak halang?? movies yg 18 tahun ke atas, regardless umur brape pun.. kalau ade scene yg censored... still dosa kan kalau tgk.. u classify the movies according to appropriate viewing groups.. but then again... org yg 18 tahun ke atas je ke layak dapat dosa.. hahaha.. well thats wh kat kelantan takde panggung.. susah for the government to ensure it's 'cleanliness'.. as for me.. tgk wayang is not something a strange. i've done it before.. once or twice... i love the screen.. but hey... this is just my opinion on why kelantan has no cinema.. it's not that i agree or disagree about the issue.. it's not even an issue pun.. heeee.. thats it..

DON'T SWEAR IT AIN'T COOL YA'LL

2011-01-22T19:56:00.003+08:00

salam,
please dont accused me of being a lousy blogger. my internet connection is killing me. i haven't been able to go online for more than a month. hadoi.. sorry yea. anyway, what's new?? well today i want to voice out my opinion on university's activities. well the title above says 'dont swear...' well, it's true but all these activities... there are like catalysts for people to keep on swearing more rapidly.

so, i'm going to be brutally honest here. i've joined some of the activities just to get merits. but i'm not 100% meritilistic. i did join a small number of activities because i'm into them. personally into them. not because someone asked me to laa.

university's activities are not that bad la. they allow you to have more friends (in my case i wont say friends, i'll say commanders), polish your communication skills, build up ur self esteem, balance ur life as a well-oriented person and bla bla bla. valid reasons la i have to say.

HOWEVER, the way people handle the activities are seriously forcing the tears out of my eyes. what? u wanna do meeting at night?? no problem... what tyme will it starts? 9.30?? okey! when will it end??? 12!! banyak cantek!!! haish. waktu petang luas terbentang nak jugak buat masa malam.kalau mlm tu start awl..ok la jugak. like 8 or 8.30 pm tu pun dah kre ok...korang argue, nak solat. ok. after isyak terus meeting takleh?? tau tak kes jenayah bnyk buat masa malam??? hish.. korang jalan dua tiga tapak dah sampai bilik so takde masalah la. but for me, i stay outside for MY MOTHER!! and yet i'm punished for it as if it's my fault. hish. satu lagi. bila patik menghadap tuanku to refuse the position as _________ please accept je la lain kali. ni tak..siap ckp keje nanti xbnyk pun... BOHONG! bila daku tak sempat nak buat keje yg korg nak, ckp belakang2. jgn pandang belakang tak sepenting jgn ckp belakang la weyh! hadoi. satu hal lagi, apsal ea ske ambik advantage sgt dgn budak pompuan yg duk kelantan and ade kete yg dah uzur??? if u asked me to buy things, i dont mind la.. ni siap nak PINJAM kete, and sampai ke tahap using my car to let your friends send u to bus station or airport. hello???! do i even know ur friends??? i know u pun less than 2 months and u expect me to lend my car to you. adoi!! never!!! the car is my dad's last gift..i'll protect it from anything. even you! yes you!! if i wear pink doesnt mean i'll go soft on you and offering you my car and energy for your job. do your own job without bothering me la. i've my own job, if the project leader asked you to do it, do it la. jgn la guna alasan xleh redah hujan or etc. xlogik. my team can run in the rain to get the job done but u cant! rubbish. tu la cte pasal university's activities. they love to pass the jobs around, they love to take advantage of people when you treat them with kindness and respect. and people in these activities can act very nasty la, they suddenly become very bussiness like and lose all the human feelings of compassion towards others' personal problems. ignorant fools; thats what my dad would call them. another thing about university's programmes, they always asked you to pay some amount of money for the programme. so if u enter 5 programmes, the total amount that you have to pay is about rm250. hish. you asked people to join, and you forced them to give out their whole month's lunch money to you. hish... kalau yuran rm5 tu acceptable la. eeeisssshk.raise the scholarship then i'll pay the activity's money.i know tht u are suppose to collect it from others instead of using your own money but if you are having classes, personal duties you would say AIIYOOOO MANE MAU KOREK DUIT.

well the point is, university's activities are very harmful to your health if you join them for the wrong reasons or for the right reasons but wrong team members. think before u wanna join!! hahaha.. i'm waiting for 12th march where all my activities will be finished, capished, vanished! hahahaha. looking forward for that!!! BTW, THIS POST IS NOT MEANT FOR ANYONE, IT'S JUST MY HONEST OPINION ABOUT THE ISSUE

sweet tooth..

2010-10-30T10:56:00.002+08:00

salam... haaa..it's been a long time since i last posted stories in my dusty blog... fuhhhhh.... this coming wednesday i have a test.. yet i'm still here blogging... haha.. wish me luck keyh!! so, what's new?? hurm... i just finished a few programmes in the campus... the campus carnival was awesome.. too bad the public x ramai yg dtg since our campus is practically a few footsteps away from the hospital.. i think the public wont find anything near hospital enjoyable... hahaha..at the carnival.. i had 3 duties... promoting about adolescent reproductive health problems at my medical station, selling bubble tea for my beijing project and being the small committee of dikir barat competition... hahaha.. fun but exhausting... i wish any of my family members especially my nieces and nephews were there... got some horses riding, snake show ghost house.. they would love it! haha... lately, i feel that my appetite is getting very good... and i'm turning into chocolate monster AGAIN... hahaha... sangat best ble dapat makan chocolate.. heee.. addicted! anyway... my money is decreasing very rapidly.. i've to renew my passport, do this...do that.. erkhhhh... to top it all.. i cant juggle my duties laaa as my next project is very close to my departure to beijing and not to mention near my exam.. i would kill myself if i fail... hish... at least nak dapat b laa this tyme... AT LEAST! of coz la nak A... but any lower than B is totally unacceptable...i would drop everything if my result is not as expected...haaa...and know... i need to munch on some chocs again... sheeesh.. one of these days i'll be getting cavit

once upon a RAYA

2010-09-13T11:36:00.003+08:00

salam...

ngeeeee... it's the fourth syawal!! and i am very very very very very very sick... cough, sore throat, runny nose and fever.... huhu.. most likely it's a viral fever... so beware...!!! i can easily spread it to you.. hahaha... so, okey.. raya this year... lots of things happen... lets begin with:

FIRST DAY OF RAYA

i began the raya as usual la.. helping my mum in the kitchen preparing the dishes early in the morning... we had nasi dagang, satey, nasi himpit, kuah kacang, rendang, ketupat daun palas, a few sarawak layered cakes, biscuits... etc.. well, my mum insisted that i wear this auyai(vietnamesse traditional clothes) which i FOUND very inappropriate to wear on the first day of syawal but i was in no mood to argue any further.. so we ate, we took some pictures.. and at about 11 am, off to Abah's resting place... as usual... i cried. the grave always gave the cold reminder that my dad passed away already... Al-Fatihah to my dad MOHD MAHIDIN AWANG... yang bengangnyee... there were a lot of cow's dungs at the graveyard.. rse cm nak nanges tgk the condition of tanah perkuburan tu... teruk! kesian abah.... huhu... after that we went to my aunt's house in kg lembah, then off to my step uncle's house in kg banggol..... had a luch and continue the journey to kg sura to visit my aunt..... then.. we went to my uncle's house at the heart of pasir putih.... by that tyme.. i was full and sleepy.. all i wanted was to go home and tucked my self in the blanket or duvet.. BUT... NO NO NO... we went to machang!!!! to my aunt's place.... after maghrib baru balik rumah... sampai umah pukul sepuluh... and i was feverish already...

SECOND DAY OF RAYA

the fever was worst on that day.. but i still manage to keep a steady body and soul as we welcomed a few relatives to our house.. there was no open house.. no kenduri... just a simple jamuan.. hahaha.... by simple i meant tea and biscuits.. hahahaha... i went to the gys' house... seriously having a good time... ngeeeee :) and then i went to my aunt's house.... pulun sume makanan.. hahaha... demam demam jugak..raya still on.. hahaha

THIRD DAY OF RAYA

i think that the most important experince this raya occured on this exact day... it was my friend's wedding.... i was really sick and came real close to the decision of not attending the wedding... but the bride is my friend... the first ever to settle down.... of course i wouldnt miss it for the world...so i decided to go with my friends since i was in no condition to drive...... we went really late already.... and during the journey... we had a horrible ACCIDENT... i knocked my head on the driver's seat... the kancil car that my 3 friends and i was smashed like squashed tomato..... the first thing that came to my mind was.... i didnt even meet my mum when i left the house since she was praying... i checked for any injuries on my body... looked around to check on my friends... thank god no one was injured... by the look of the car...people might think that there were casualties..... huhu... i was lucky to be alive.... if you are reading this...shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... dont tell my mum... she doesnt know.....the first person i contacted was gys....huhu.... takooooot nk gtau my mum n my sibs....nasib baik la tyme tu a few of my friend were driving different cars.... so we were able to get help n xtra tranport....we reached the wedding at 4.30 pm... met lots of old friends... i had a drink... joked around... ad went back home... the fever was not showing any sign of subsiding..... i was throwing up... lembik ang lunyai.....dugaan.... here are some pics capturing the unbelievable moments of raya

kahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooona!

2010-09-02T19:58:00.002+08:00

salam,
hurm... for almost 3 weeks i havent post any thing at my blog.. i do have a lot in mind to voice out. but i juz cant simply put it in words...lots of things happened in juz 3 weeks... so, it is almost the end of ramadhan and i do wonder... have i done enough to make this ramadhan meaningful??? hurm... bak kata ustazah dulu.. tepuk dada tanye iman... bila dah masuk bulan ramadhan ni... geeezzzzzz... rase cm pahala puasa tu nipis je sebab sepanjang masa bunyi org main mercun.. as if they are throwing the fire crackers right at my room... BOOOOM!!! nak solat pun kekadang terkejut... if i want to eat pun i have to contorl my reflex so that i wont choke.. huhu... well, i have to say.... i do see the miracles of ramadhan this year..... thru my moon... the knight in armour who has the light from heaven shone upon him.... u know what, there are things in live which make u realize... Allah knows best.... He knows everything! u see.. i like the part... bismillahirahmannirrahim.... la yukallifullahhu nafsan illa wus'aha... Allah wont test you unless u are up for it... i like that a lot.. makes me feel a bit stronger on the inside.... stregthen my heart... ok... now let me talk bout how's my medical student's life... BORING! hahaha... i have no idea why the mentality of Malaysians especially those gossip aunties... if buat medic then bangga bagai nak rak.. kalau buat oversea lagi bangga... huhu..tudung anak senget, seluar anak sendat buat dunno je... seolah nak ckp, masuk neraka takpe asalkan dapat jadi doktor... sengal kan... retarded minds dont belong to those with birth congenital disorders.. but to those who HALALKAN YANG HARAM... nak ckp lebih pun... my knowledge is like the baby corn... hahaha
back on the topic.... my med school in second year is starting to look very real... very doctor-like.. i started seeing the patients, clerking them for their personal details... writing reports... hahahaha... it drives my kahooooona..but, i think it's okey.. this is what i should do although i still think that i was not born to do this...my heart remains with chemical engineering.. i miss my math, chemistry and physics.. dont get me wrong, i do have to apply chemistry in my medical studies.. but... well.... human engineering doesnt really catch my brain attention.. people used to call me the BAPAK OF GENIUS... but well now, things are not the way it was.... hahaha.... i juz let the water flow... hehehe...and then, today.. i met this chinesse-indian senior who asked me a question.... AWAK BANGGA X MENJADI PELAJAR USM??? (with chinesse slanga) so i juz look at him blankly... then he said... SAYA SANGAT BERBANGGA KERANA PUSAT PENGAJIAN KITA ADE ITU MASSAGE CHAIR.. YANG.. OGAWA... hahahaha.. in med school people go mad everyday so this scenario which u find very ntah ke hape2 is very common... stress la kunun.... but i like that people dont take things toooooooo seriously... nanti xde ummmmmmph life ni... med school is not so bad once people realize it's not only about the books...hahaha.... ok... i'm getting dizzy..lately banyak sgt pitam.... huhu.. ni symptom nak duit raya lebih ni... hahaha.. ok then... see u soon..

ramadhan...coming soon..

2010-08-05T07:20:00.004+08:00

salam... well... ramadhan is coming soon.... for the girls, have u qadha what u should qadha yet??? hahaha... well ramadhan always bring lots of memories... some are nice.. and some better leave it unsaid.... abou 2 years ago, i was celebrating ramadhan for the first time without my dad.. at that time.. my state of mind is not in the world map... so.. i lost it at that time.. i am abou to confess something here... I WROTE LETTERS TO MY DAD WHEN I MISSED HIM TOO MUCH IT ACHED... i was insane... i am insane... but... moving on doesnt mean i forget him right... i am moving forward bringing him along in my heart... so.... i am going to share with u my first letter to my dad.... here goes..

Dear abah,
Ramadhan is coming soon. So weird not having you around. You were the one who celebrate Ramadhan festively. Remember? New baju Melayu to go to the mosque for terawih, asking ma to prepare some food for the mosque etc. It was nice. I miss you a lot. Last night when i came home, i saw your office. How you spent so many hours there, how you talked about your work and stuff. I missed you so much. There are a lot of things i want to share with you. I think i blew my mid sem exam. Sorry... my performance is getting lower and lower. Wish you are here. I am getting lazier too. Again, sorry... but that is not new to you i bet. I miss you abah.... coming home makes me think of you so much more. I secretly wishing that you would turn up to pick me up at the airport last night. You didn’t.... it’s okey. When i was up there, during the flight, i felt so much closer to you, since you conquer the air when you were the best pilot your company could ever have. I miss you Abah.... what to do? My friend, who also lost his dad tragically when he was seven said i should let it go, let the past be gone. But i can’t.... i’m your anak ino. It would be so hard to let you go....you are my Abah, my best friend, and my mentor. How am i supposed to let three people go at the same time??? Never.... enough about sad things.... i want to tell you about my life at pasum. Life is okey so far. I have new friends; lily(math genius), wan (very funny), zulla(laser girl), fathin the singer, aimi (sempoi), dorky lollipop, irritating samer, Brandon, sweet hosea, azim, cakim and syafiq...not to mention adreana the model. I wish you could know them. You know what, last night my teacher asked me where i studied, when i said um, she sorts of underestimated me.... so hard la abah..... what should i do? I wanna go overseas too, but ma? I miss you so much abah. How am i going to celebrate raya without you??? I’ve to go now....see you soon....

Lots of luv,
Anis.

this is written 2 years ago... some of the names i mentioned in the letter doesnt even relate to me anymore.... u can call me twisted or anything u want.. i am ezma yanis.. daughter of mohd mahidin and tuan kamariah.. i wont please people i dont find worthy of... i'll be the one who wipe my own tears, clean my own wounds.... soooooooo.. dont judge me if u dont want me to judge u... huahuahua.... ok.. i admit.. i am a little bit a nut case... but i am a nut covered with chocs... yummy!!!... hahaha... well.... till my next post... eid mubarrak everybody... :)

begini begitu

2010-07-30T18:23:00.003+08:00

salam... haaa today i am in the mood to post not one but TWO POSTS.... i am really not sure whether i am blabbering to myself or someone out there actually reads my blog... hahahaha... but.. i'll continue blogging none the less... so, just now i talk about the rain.... now, be amazed about my topic... FRIENDS AND FAMILY.... u see... i am the youngest in the family.. i am very close to my late dad. both my late dad and my mum are from the same state, the same district... so sometimes the share the same relatives.. my dad's step brother is my mum's cousin... things like that la.. but when my dad passed away, my relatives from my dad side are very distant from us.. dont know why people tend to lose the bond like that... at least they visited my new born niece today... so that shows that they still remember us especially my mum laaa... the thing about family is that, no matter how much they irritate u, no matter how much the torture ur soul and sell it to the devil, at the end of the day... u are still family.. u are in the same family tree... u share the same roots... the same ancestors... and that similarities wont go away like the writings on the sand.... coz we need our family.. bcoz they are our identity... of coz not our personality!!!! but still, a little bit here, a little bit there.... they contribute to who we are today... about friends.... u have the true friends.. u have the nice friends, u have the hye-hye bye-bye friends, u have the evil friends(well, u wont call an evil person ur friend ryte???), u have cold hearted friends and u have friends who just wish they never ever befriend u from the beginning..... everybody has friends from each section.... betul x?? the thig about friends is that they make ur life full with colours... sometimes gray, sometime black, sometimes white, sometimes PINK.... haha.... but u kind of learn the ways of life from them.... some friends hurt u ever so badly that u are not able to stand up.... but u will have friends that will help u to get back on ur feet... in UM, i have a really good friend and our friiendship turns to ashes because of unnecessary stuffs..... in USM, i have thi good friend who ended up telling me to go to hell.... which makes me thing laaaaa.... i am a very bad friend ke ea???? it is really stinks like socks ..loosing a friend that is...... so try to find a friend who wont misjudge u... hahaha..settle kan??? well, as i am typing my post... a baby CICAK! falls on my laptop.... hahahahahaha... euuuuuuwwwwwwwww..... scare the soul out of me.... soooooooo... till my next post!!! salam

rain in july

2010-07-30T13:47:00.002+08:00

salam.... it's the first day of my short break... for those who are ANAK JATI KELANTAN but studying abroad or living in another state.. let me give u a brief weather report... this past few days... the clouds in kelantan seems to be very sad because it is raining everyday here....who breaks the clouds' hearts? hahaha.. well, i love the rain.. go and have a blast in the rain... or juz sleep in the comfy duvet... well tucked in.. huuuuuhuuuu.. so nice... well, in mmy previous post i forgot to mention about my best friend in my foundation year... IZREEN YASMIN. hahaha talking bout the rain makes me miss her more... we used to walk in the rain singing the p. ramlee song at 12 or 1 am at night on the street of UM... hahaha.. and we were both afraid of lightning so we would stop singing and start running for shelter if the lightning started... IZREEN would juz scream and let go of her umbrella because she thought she was going to be struck by the lightning... i would juz laugh while trying to catch my own breath after running like an amok person....hahaha...those were the days... i met lots of lovely friends in pasum.. i also met people who would call me PUAKA... or put the letter F at the end of my name in the attendance list... hahahaha... yup.. those were the days..hahaha....rain..rain...rain.... i used to celebrate my 17th birthday by going kahoooona i the rain... my mum were red with anger about that but my dad.. my ever so rainbow dad would juz say BIARLAAA DIA... JARANG2 SEKALI MAIN HUJAN XSALAH.. hahaha... yup, he's my savior... haha.... well, if u have astro... u would curse the rainy season because astro is useless during the heavy rain or stormy days...hahaha.... rain would also makes the mums insane because they cant dry the clothes.....hahaha... till my next post..salam

TUNGGU SEKEJAP WAHAI KASIH

TUNGGULAH SAMPAI HUJAN TEDUH

MARI KU DENDANG

JANGAN MENGENANG ORANG JAUH

JANGAN PULA

JANGAN TINGGALKAN AKU SEORANG

TUNGGU SEKEJAP.....

(izreen and i would sing this part of the song when we walk in the rain... we change the word sekejap with sekicap because we were always hungry after finished studying)

my friends... my precious

2010-07-24T19:57:00.002+08:00

salam... i was in my silent mode for the past 2 weeks.. not because i dont have the tyme actually... i am juz lazy to write... nothing interesting laaa.. haha
thats a lie.. of coz lots of interesting stuff has been going on... but thats not what i'm going to write anyway... today.. i want to show my appreciation to my dear friends... the longest one who can endure being my best friend is MUHD IZZAT ABD RAHMAN.. well of coz my moon is my longest best fren too but thats entirely a different story which i'm going to tell u in another post... so back to this izzat guy... i call him ijak..he's doing engineering in UTP.. brilliant lad! he's skeptical about everything!! he drives me crazy sometimes.. but i really do treasure his opinions..i look up to him and very proud of him... he's the most truthful person i've ever known in my entire life.. he once slapped me with his words saying that i changed a lot after my dad died... so, i am working hard ryte now to be the old me again and ijak has always been the one i would recheck myself with... he has never let me down although he is damn sarcastic... but sometimes what he said is true... u cant blame the poor guy... i had been torturing him and the moon when my dad passed away... i would call them at 4 am and juz cried my lungs out... so... it is very stressful to be my best friend... hahaha... u can as ijak that...but u know what?? i am very thankful that he is my best friend.... the kind that doesnt really judge me... but guide me... u see.. thats what friends are for... thanks ijak!!! i owe u a lot.... u know.. i never get to give ijak a lot of stuffs... u see... in our friendship.. the only tyme i have ever gave him anything was for his birthday... which was 2 years ago.. i gave him a t-shirt.... and now... looking back upon it.. i feel so guilty... hahaha..sorry ijak... i'll treat u better keyh...he deserved more than just a tshirt... :) and moving on my best friend list is.. WAN AFIQAH WAN MD SABRI... i have known her ever since i entered my secondary school... she was my classmate since form 1... she had been my table mate since we were form 2... we were like belangkas bak then... till now, everytime i meet her.. i'll go clowny...hahaha.. she always makes me happy... she is terrible in giving advice... but she's the best at making me laugh out loud...i always have great times with her.. and i regret the fact that i am not able to study with her anymore... she's studying medicine in egypt... but maybe we can work together.. who knws right?? hahah... we have good tyme.. the class clowns... i was the head prefect, she was the class president... she was the school's sport star too... haha... we are two different girls who really complete each other... we make each other laughs.. my best memories in high school often related to her.. and now... we are still close... she's a bit different... considering she studies in egypt... warak laaa dari me ni.. and i am very segan with her warakness.......but we still laugh together.nothing really changes.. juz a few days ago we met at the hospital and we just made the nurses mad by laughing and teasing each other... she's my best friend.. she's there although very far away.. she gives rubbish advices but she always gives me laughter worth of the pirate's treasure... thats important than long empty advices... haha... i call her pok ha'... she has this hearing problem.. whenever i call her name... she would not respond... but if i call her pok ha... she'll respond to me immediately..hahaha... and i am very proud of her too..she's one of the best students in cairo university... next, NIK HAZWANI NIK RUZMAN... this girl will kill me if i dont mention her name..that pretty much give u the general ideas about her ryte?? hahaha.. she's cute... in a ver spooky way... she is very outspoken and honest about her feelings.. she never lies to take care of others' feeling... when she talks.. it's like every part of her body talks too... with her hand gestures.. her facia expression... haha... thank god she takes law.... it fits her very well... haha.. i know her since high school and we were close since we joined the debate team... WE WERE THE PIONEERS IN THE DEBATING FIELD at our school... we basically started the team... yosh!!i loved to make fun of the opponents but she would rather let them die in her death glare.,,, she would beat them... seriousy... she was the best debater in my era... hahaha.... she would go kahoona or frantic about everything... overreact about things that are simple....thats y she is unique... people might see her as a talkative maniac... but i am perhaps the only one who knows that she's a very good listener... she would send me postcard from aussie.. juz to cheer me up... or write a very long and sweet emaill juz to lift my spirit up... she's there.... u bet... she's always there.... too bad huh... none of my best friend is studying with me... but... i have SITI ZULAIKHA ZAKARIA... well she's my best friend in USM... we share the same likes and dislikes... this girl... she doesnt have a facebook profile.... huhu... she's very sweet... she's very attentive,,, i would marry her if i'm a guy... hahaha... i have only known her for less than 2 years but i told her my 20 years of life on earth... she's the one that i can lean on when my other bestfriends are far away... izzat, afiwah and nik should thank her for keeping me a live and sane... hahahaha... she's the only best friend that knows me after my dad passed away so obviously she misses a lot of great stuffs about me... all she knows is tha pathetic little me... yet she's never frustrated with me... i couldnt stand the fact if i dont have her... hahaha... i pity her too.. she just know the sad side of me... FEAR NOT!!! i am back to my normal being.... the ezma before my dad died... hahaha... i hope she'll be happy... as i said earlier....being my best friend is very painfull.... i have these people to thank as they can cope with me... not to forget my current great friends.. the best of all..... EZZAH,HANIF, HAIDAR, FINAS, HAZIYAH, AQMA, BIHA, MY PBL MATES AND LOTS MORE..... who make my day worth a million dollar...well... not exactly in us dollar... more like rupiah... hahaha... :P thanks for being my friends boys and girls... well the reason i write down my appreciation to my best friends here is because..... i want stress here that once u are my friend... i will love u with all my heart... but if u choose otherwise... i feel nothing about u... no anger or agony... juz NOTHING.... hahaha...

OH NOOOOOOO!!!

2010-07-08T17:14:00.002+08:00

salam... hurm i do believe some people might find my previous post is harsh and ffensive... well, truth hurts.. i told you i learn it the hard way.. so i'm just simply saying that... u have to make time even if u dont have one.. for those who care about u.. for those u have helped u before.. for those who need your help.. i'm not pointing fingers to anybody... i read what i wrote over and over again so it's also a self motivation... mind u people.. I AM ON MY WAY OF BEING THE OLD ME... more thankful and less evil... so my posts are not meant to hurt, i'm just sharing my experience... i have to admit in my previous post i sounded like THE GUY FROM GODFATHER MOVIE... but i am just being honest with my opinion.... my lecturer... well i wont expose her name but she's really cool... she is like taking phd in sooooooo many field...she's not a medical doctor but she does teach us: the medical student. she said that, there is nothing personal about blogs... our toughts and ideas are personal... but when u voice it out, when u write it down... it's not personal anymore.... so, i am not treating my blog as my diary, expressing my anger or crying like kahooonaaa while smaxhing my keyboard.... no sir, i am juz sharing my thoughts... so NICOZ!!!! the post has nothing to do with anyone at all... i am not pointing fingers ok... hahaha... :P well, talking bout lecturer... my classes will start on 11th july.... 'yeeeeehooooo' NOT! hahaha.geez. back to lectures and lectures and lectures and mdl sessions (mdl is the labs)... hopefully this second year is more fun la... well... fun might not be the right word but let's make it the right word.... i have to work hard... i NEED to work hard.... i havent been doing it (work hard) for almost a year or so... so now, after my self realization, self actualization...whatever u want to name it....i'm gonna go kebabow! well i hope that i can update my blog at least once a week since i wont be that active in fb... well, the love to write is my true nature actually but i stopped ever since i started on my self pity journey two years a go..... well the journey ends when i started this holiday.....so yes, i will try to update this blog... SERIOSULY... (nicoz i know u juz smirking at this right now) hahaha.... today, i went to the small book shop in pengkalan chepa, just in front of pantai timur to get some pens and pencils... oh yeah...has anyone seen my mechanical pencil???? i seem to lost it...well, i have a 2-months-holiday.... whadduya expect??? i have to admit as lazy as i am to go to lectures... i am really looking forward for this new beginning... new direction.. hahaha... do i sund gleek to u??? hahaha... not really a fan but i do love some of the songs.... so back to the point.... i am looking forward to start ver, to do well... up to my own expectation like before... i am looking forward also to join the activities... yes, u heard me right.... well, 2nd year, 2nd phase... i'll make it awesome... just for fun, i'm going to say this... cant fight the MOONlight.... thanks for reading... till my next post.. :) salam

too busy??? no time???

2010-07-08T07:53:00.004+08:00

salam... i do wonder why people always say they dont have the time.... the general excuse for not being somewhere you should be... like ur old school before u go abroad and go kahooooona on the stupid grass dont u know... it's not nice to torture the grass... or the fact that u cant attend the wedding of ur friend who invited u personally...or that u stupidly say that u cant answer the phone because it's is broken or God knows where it is.. or even when u refuse to see ur troubled friends or the ones who really miss u... u know, the person who refuses to greet his or her former teachers at the old school is just simply too lazy to get his or her big ego into the school and properly meet them NOT BECAUSE U ARE TAKING SOME CERTIFICATES!!!! geeeezzz... u know what the teachers are calling u now dear???? BUDAK X KENANG JASA.... personally, i think it fits anybody who is in that position..and dont even let me go about those who didnt even care to call their parents!!!! when u cant attend ur friend's wedding with lame excuse like sorry, i'm busy with my work.... geez man.... all u need is more or less 3 hours to attend a wedding....if it is in another state then it's a whole new story laaa... but if the drive only takes about 1 hour.. then juz go laaaa... if u say that u r too busy, how come u spend ur time in the facebook, uploading ur not so nice pictures or writing in your blog as long as an essay fits the application of a university???? and how come u can contanct ur lover or dear beloved when u say UR PHONE IS BROKEN!!!! ahahaha... and dont get me started on the issue of abandoning ur friends... because u know what missy.... we will abandon u too.... i am a medical student... i know the word busy.... i know the phrase 'no time'... and u know what... i know that the terms are exaggerated....u think med stud dont have time to mind people??? if they dont...well, lot's of parents wont even think about sending their kids to med school... med students have the time to call their parents, say hello to their old friends or even go out with them...YES PEOPLE, WE DO SOCIALIZE.... SO DONT GIVE ME THE BULL THAT AS A PRE-U STUDENT OR MED STUDENT OR AERONAUTICAL STUD OR PURE MATH STUD OR PILOT CADET, U ARE SOOOOO BUSY WITH UR STUDY....BECAUSE U ARE JUZ BUSY WITH YOURSELF.... hahaha... i'm not writing this because i'm angry with anyone in particular.... i just want u to realize..... if u r too busy for others.... well, one day... YOU WILL LOSE EVRYTHING except your BLACK HEART AND THE UNDYING DEVOTION OF LONELINESS.... i bet my rights to eat candies on that.... so, now u have time???? i learn it the hard way... when my dad was around and he aSked me out to the mall on the day before exam, all i said was... sorry bah, i've to study... now, i would kill to go out with my dad again EVEN ON THE DAY OF MY EXAMINATION... so, i am providing u the simplest way to realize what u will be missing if u use the phrase too bussy or no time or yg sewaktu dengannya..... u will loose something precious and gain REGRET... take ur time to appreciate others will u??? i hope, now u know why you are so lonely, a loner with no real best friend.... because all u care all this while is URSELF...

i am thankful...FINALLY

2010-07-07T13:33:00.003+08:00

salam.... like my pictures??? hahaha... didnt have the time to edit them so juz accept them as they are keyh.... so the thing is.. u know, i've been grumbling bout my life since my dad died... i only went to local university. i only have this only have that, i only have one parent.... it is like the world of ONLY.... well that world is making my life miserable as i ONLY think about myself... it's not wrong to think bout yourself.. but dont forget others laa.... i miss my dad soooooo much... i am pretty sure he;ll be upset if he knows what i;m doing with my life.... since he passed away.... i am hoping that the world would stop and cry with me.... i wont let anyone be happy.... except for my mum... she had enough already... so when my friends got offers to study abroad at good schools and everything i was like...NOT FAIR!!! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!!! things likde that laaa... u know, i missed the interview and the university scholarship in Monash and Moscow Med ScHOOL because i think my mum needs me... but at time of frustrations i couldnt help myself but ponder...what IF.. u see.. thats the thing... i'm not my usual self anymore... i used to be this carefree girl...wouldnt ind what everybody has as long as i'm happy and thankful for being one... but since my dad passed away, i sort of made an excuse for myself... SELF PITY!!! but now, i feel better... i'm beginning to be more like the old me...and less evil... everything happens for a reason... i do believe Allah still loves me very much and my dad is always in my heart.... and from now on... i'm going to work really hard... no excuse... no more settling down for average.... i'm going to be myself back.... Alhamdulillah... Allah has given me my faith back... i am myself... more than ever.... and He wants me to know that.... with Abah's Ma's and my sibs' prayer.... i'll do great things again....

pictures worth a thousand words

2010-07-06T16:34:00.007+08:00

ANCIENT!!!!

WITH ATOK KOREA NEAR NAMDAEMUN MARKET

AIGOOOO!!!! GYEONGBOK PALACE

THIS IS ONE OF THE PLACE THE ACTRESS IN GOONG PLAYED AROUND

POST OFFICE IN SAIGON

CAN SEND RAYA CARDS!!!

3 CLOWNS IN EVERLAND

COSTUME PLAY IN SAIGON (for u nicoz)

TASIK DAYANG BUNTING~ FULL WITH MONKEYS!!!!!

WITH MY NEW FRIENDS IN EVERLAND

ON THE BOAT FROM NAMI ISLAND

NAMI ISLAND ~ WINTER SONATA

GYEONGBOK PALACE~ MY FAVOURITE PLACE IN SEOUL

THIS IS WHERE THEY SHOT GOONG (KDRAMA)

AAAAHHHHH, LANGKAWI... MY TRIP WITH MY ROOMATES

ROCKING ROOMATES AT THE UNDERWATER WORLD

THE TANGLED TELEPHONE LINES IN SAIGON

THIS IS NOTHING, SOME ARE EVEN WORSE THAN THIS

SUNRISE IN KUALA TERENGGANU

ALL OF THE MOTORCYCLISTS IN SAIGON WEAR FACIAL MASKS

ALL!!!!!!

WEDDING

THE SAIGON STYLE

IS THAT AN ICE CONTAINER???

A SILHOUETTE IN KUALA TERENGGANU

SEE THAT MAN IN GRAY OUTFIT WITH A CAP ON???

HE'S ANSWERING THE NATURE'S CALL

AT THE STREET OF SAIGON....GEEZ PEOPLE!!!!

AT TASIK DAYANG BUNTING WITH MY ROOMATES

LOVE RIDING THE SOLAR BOAT!!!

BEACH OF MARANG

MALAYSIA IS TRULY ASIA

INSIDE THE CABLE CAR

PUTTING A FAKE SMILE AS I WAS REALLY TERRIFIED!!!

there are a lot more pictures that i want to share with u but it is very time consuming and i am not a very patient girl... when i have the time and the mood, i'll upload more and more... notice that all these pics are scrambled... fusion between korea, vietnam and malaysia to prove that MALAYSIA is just as nice as other countries... in fact.. it's better!!!

HOLIDAYS!!! part 2

2010-07-05T17:56:00.002+08:00

salam.... so, as i've promised... i'm going o talk about my trip to vietnam and korea from 11th until 16th june...i went there ALONE... of course laa in a group but none of my friends or family joined me... juz the tour leader, aunty normah happens to be my mum's best friend so thats why my mum was not really reluctant to let me go... that and the fact that i paid for everything!! hahaha...but my mum and my sibs gave me some money to do the shopping.. but i didnt buy anything much...not even enough souvenirs...hey, it's hard tau travelling alone...u juz have to be xtra careful bout the luggage and the stuffs there are not that cheap ok!!! so dont judge me..hahaha.. i dont even know why i decided to go travelling alone... i mean, it's that fun..seriosly.. but i think i'm just trying to have my getaway from things that upset me... u know, like see new places, regain self actualizatin, self esteem, self realization... u know i've not been myself ever since my dad passed away so i was hoping that a change of place and air would clear my head a bit... guess what, i think it works... so next tyme, i'll be going to somewhere else again...hopefully that next tyme, my family or friends will be able to join me...hahaha... in two years time i'm hoping i'll be able to go overseas again... sooo start saving!!! haha..ok...on 11th june... i went to vietnam first... i was able to have a city tour... our tour guide is Ang.... haha.. i think that's how i'm suppose to spell it.... well this tour group mostly consist of aunties and uncles.... lucky there were two other girls yg agak2 sebaya laaa... these two girls are sisters and there were also travelling without their parents or other family members or friends... the elder one is kak nurul and her sister is aisyah.... thank god i have these girls to hang out with... they were kind and cool.... love u girls!! anyway... time kat vietnam tu... we just had a tour on the bus... coz that night we will be taking our flight to korea... in vietnam, we went to the post office...which is historical..and kinda cool coz u know, the post office is like a small bazaar... they sell stuffs there.... amazing!! and we took pictures near the landmark of ho chi minh city aka saigon... do you know that saigon is called little paris by the frenc because the architecture pretty much similar to that in paris.... being a dork... I LOVE THE OLD BUILDINGS THERE.... colonial style yet ever so majestic.... the people there use motorcycles instead of cars... i mean, imagine the road is full with the motorcycles...and yet they claim the have no serios accident...geez i guess the mat rempit in malaysia have to learn how to ride the bike from the vietnamesse.... u know, although they have lots f beautiful buildings like the opera house, the cleanliness is not really up to the standard.. u can smell the pungent-urine-like smell when u r walking near the roadside or on the pavements... and lets' talk about telephone line... u can see the cables twisted around each other tangled horribly... i juz cant imagine how they maintan the line.... later i'll show u the picture... remember juz now i told u bout the urine odour...well i say a guy answering the nature's call at the traffic light... juz like that!!!! well i didnt see his thing because i was simply looking from behind... but everybody else including the locals were watching him doing it!!! hahaha... that explains the smell huh??? hahahaha...well later i'll show u the picture...yes, i took his picture...hahaha...it's still in the category of public viewing coz i juz get to see his back.. BACK!!! ok... we also wet to the handcrafts place where all the things there are made by the handicapped.... really nice place...a bit expensive though.... after that we went to another place for handicrafts.. i didnt buy anything coz got nothing to buy maaaaaaaaaaa... hahahah.. but i caught a glimpse of the vietnamesse traditional clothes....the one that the ladies wear is called auyai.... very nice..so i thought of buying one after the trip to korea....so that night we took our flight to korea...gosh... it took us about 6 hours to reach incheon airport... disaster!!! i cant even sleep during the flight as the seat is too small and not so comfortable..and my back really hurts.... adoilaaaaa!!! hahaha...so, when we arrived, we were greeted by lucy kim, our tour guide in korea.. she took us to gi sightseeing in the seoul city... I LOVE THE GYEONGBOK PALACE!!!! well, i told u, i'm a dork... this is the place where they shot the Goong drama...huahua... love it!!! well we went to the national folks museum to see the way the koreans live...i was really fascinated by their traditions... after that we went to the president's place... THE BLUE HOUSE....hahaha... well i guess they want to compete with the white house in USA..hahaha...after the tour the aunties and the uncles were all grunting because they were all tired coz we hadnt take a proper shower yet and were juz simply exhausted..hahaha..but their tiredness went away as soon as we arrived at the next place... the Namdaemun market.. it is like the WAKAF CHE YEH version of market in korea... this is the place where i bought lovely brooches, t-shirts and souvenirs.... really really nice place... but u see, the koreans are very poor in English language so the shopping is a bit difficult since u cant really understand them and they cant understand u... well i guess it was the time for SIGN LANGUAGE... hahaha.. well, being a total weirdo.. i did bring my scientific calculator and during the shopping, i made full use of it... guess what... all the aunties were shouting my names asking my help to convert the currency value... nasib baik bwk... well, all thanks to my dad who really stressed on Math during my school days.... BELUM BERKARAT LAGI ABAH!!! hahaha... after that, we went to the hotel...have a quick shower and went out again to have a dinner... some of the aunties and the uncle didnt join us because they were dead tired already... well the hotel we were staying the SEOUL LEISURE HOTEL was mindblowing, no wonder they found it hard to get off the bed... well we had dinner at the Itaewon.. this is where most muslims in the korea stay... it was really nice... well during the trip, i never complained bout the food... i love to be adventure when it comes about the food and culture..as long as it is halal laaaa of course.... in korea, it is a bit difficult to find halal food... i guess u can say that they are not really prepared to have muslim tourists... hurm.... the next day... i went to Nami Island......the place where they shot the WINTER SONATA.... too good to be true for me... i love the island.... the trees, the lake...everything was perfect... after that we went to a restaurant serving korean cuisine and i had the first kimchi in my entirely... kimchi is the korean food.... it is some sort of cabbage pickle... taste a bit sour, salty and spicy.... YUMMY!!! not all the mak cik and pak cik liked it though...sooooo more for me!!!! MIAHAHAHAHA... after that we went to the nearby town... i belive it is called Chaecun... something like dat laaa... it's like a bintang walk with all these nice shops and boutiques... love it!!!! then we went to the hotel... on the 3rd day... we went to Everland... korea's biggest theme park... we get to play everything... the safari, the amazon xpress, the space tour, the magic swing, merry go round... lots of cool things...not to mention the rose festival...after we spent half of the day there we went to the amethyst factory where we were able to look at the largest amethyst factory and the amethyst jewelleries... i bought i ring for my mum... thats all i can afford anyway... then off to the ginseng factory... get a taste of korean ginseng... hehe... tastes nice...but not really my cup of tea...then we went bac to seoul... had dinner at itaewon...managed to go and jalan2 at itaewon... really nice place...very happening... then back to the hotel at the manhattan part of korea.... lovely!!! next day, we had breakdfast and off to the airport for our flight to saigon again... when we reached saigon.... we went to the tea and coffee shop... i got the chance to drink the famous lotus tea and vietnamesse coffee... refreshing!!! then we went for another city tour...after that we went to check in at our hotel... the luxurious Tan Hai Long Hotel... right after that we went to the shop where they sell the telekung sembahyang and the vietnamesse silk.... right after that we rushed to the ben than market as it closed at 6.30 pm... bought some souvenirs and the auyai i wanted sooooooo much... haha... boleh pakai time raya... after that we went for dinner and went to the nightmarket near the ben than market... love the night market!!!!! very very nice!!!! well... the next day after breakfas... we headed for OUR HOME SWEET HOME...MALAYSIA... well that's the summary of my trip to korea and vietna... but wait... my holiday is not over yet... till my next post everybody!! salam

HOLIDAYS!!!!

2010-07-05T13:09:00.002+08:00

salam everybody... i'm not sure if people read my blog or not...i do hope so however.... anyway, this post is about HOW I SPEND MY HOLIDAY.... maybe i have mentioned before, this is one of the longest holiday i'll ever have in my 5 years of med school... so, i really want to spend it wisely.... that was the initial plan..hahaha... i still remember during my early school life... after each holidays, the teachers will always ask the pupils to tell about the activities during the holidays.... well, back then, my family was not able to travel a lot due to my dad's work and stuffs... so whenever we had to talk bout our holidays in the class, i was always the one who will say... I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING MUCH, JUZ FOOLING AROUND AND MESSING WITH MY PARENTS.... but for this holiday.... i have covered for the lost time...most of it laa... haha... but half of the time, i travelled alone without my family members... kinda sucks actually.... IT'S NOT FUN TRAVELLING WITHOUT FAMILY OR FRIENDS...hahaha but i made new friends... meet lots of aunties and uncles.... soooooo... where did i go??
a week after my professional exam result came out i went to KUALA TERENGGANU... spend the night at the SUTRA BEACH RESORT... a nice resort... totally improved from my first visit in 1996... hahaha...OF COURSE la kan!!!! it was the beginning of my own photoshoot with my sweety nikon D60.. watching the sunrise, admiring the nature, went swimming... it was really nice.. my mum, che yah (auntie), abg nal, kak iffah and i were realy enjoying the breeze!! at night we ate mangoes with vinigar plus belacan deeping by the beach.... NICE!!!! that time the thomas cup was going on.... so yeah!!! BEST!!! my mum and my auntie found the trip too short... so we might be having one again in the future.... 1 week after that.... i went to LANGKAWI with my roomates....ZALIA, SARAH KHOO & ATIQAH....it was supposed to be the reward of our hardwork for professional 1 exam...although i think i didnt really worked hard for the big exam because my mum was admitted to the CCU during the exam.... nevertheless... on 17th may, i took a flight from kota bharu to LCCT... there, i met sarah khoo yi xin... haha.. my bed mate... we waited for the next flight to langkawi..poor sarah... she was having a fever.... when we reached the langkawi airport, zalia and atiqah picked us up..... well the langkawi airport althought small but it has lots of shops!!! hahaha... 3 nights and 4 days trip.... lots of thing we did... lots of places we went to.... i love the island hopping and the cable car... although my knees shivered during the ride on cable car.. i think it was THE BEST EEXPERIENCE EVER..... you out there should try it.... the scene up there...ecpecially the bridge at the top of the hills is juz...BREATH TAKING!!!! literally... hahaha.... we went shopping of course... and my beg juz simply beranak!!! hahaha...i love the underwater world... i love the food... i hate the roads... hahaha..toooooo small especially at pantai chenang.... well obviously i was driving.... we went to padang beras terbakar too.. i always imagined padang beras terbakar is like a football field with burnt rice.. but it's juz a small area of someone's yard...hahhahaa... we went to dataran helang...which i insisted to go to... actually this langkawi trip was supposed to be our birtday trip
(in advance)...since we share the same birthday... 29 may... except for zalia whose birthday is on 30 may.... it was the first time i went on a trip without any of my family members... but my roomates are my family.... so... we went home with more bags on the 20th may..... exactly 10 days after that, i went to KL with my mum and che yah... to attend my cousin's wedding in gemas... but i didnt attend it since on the wedding day... 11th june... i went to VIETNAM+KOREA........well... that trip.. i'll tell u in my next post and another special post with the pictures!!!... i promise... :)) till my next post... salam

tired...too tired...

2010-05-30T21:59:00.003+08:00

salam...today.. i went to the mall to buy somethings for my travel...alone..huhu..up and down the mall...but couldnt get the items i want...so...off i went to kbg kerian area...i feel sick a little..maybe the wheather is a little harsh on me today...well u guys still remember the incident that happened at the kb mall not so long ago?? a car crashed the escalators...2 casualties.....well guess what..they opened the escalators for public usage today...hahaha.. and... ididnt use it...ngeeeheeee...guess it still has this eerie aura...al-fatihah to those who passed away in that dreadful incident.....soooo..that's it.. i am too tired to write a longer post...here is a pic of the incident to remind us..malang tidak berbau...i take this from internet..ope the owner doesnt mind

and....it ends...juz like dat..

2010-05-30T00:06:00.002+08:00

salam.................................that's it...my bday has ended......nothing special..bday dinner was cancelled...and i am hungry..huhu..nver mind. from now...i'll begin my journey into adulthood..hahaha..ayat mcm poyo je kan...but 20 is still young ryte...now, i am focussing on my next agenda...travelling...where to??? lets keep it as a secret for a while shall we...but it's in 1 week tyme...i am not really excited bout the trip however..coz i'll be alone..the only one i am familiar with is the travel guide who happens to be my mum's gud fren...but..it's still differ than having relatives or close friends with me...it's juz pathetic..trying to learn bout life like that...so...i'll be away for about a week..after that i might stay in KL for an uncertain perion...but surely before july comes...well bfore this trip... i have been to terengganu and langkawi during my holiday...i'll post a few nice shots when all my trips ended...hehehe...

can i have this please...

2010-05-29T13:25:00.004+08:00

salam.....although i am blurr bout ICT, gadgets, and techno stuffs... i would love to have an iPad!!!!!! i am a bookworm... this gadget is great for that!!!!! huaaaaa...my lappy is already a touchscreen...but....hurmmm...long way for me to have an iPad of my own ryte...iPhone and iPod pun xde..hahahahahah...maybe for my dowry then???? hantaran kawin!!! hahahaha... material girl....but... no harm in dreaming....hahaha!!!well..if i can own it by my own hard work, it'll be nice too... but let's pray for the first option keyh... :P

birthday...birthday...birthday...

2010-05-29T09:26:00.004+08:00

salam.... it's my birthday today!!!!!! huahuahua...i am no longer a TEENager... how sad is that....for years i have become one, today i have to end my glorious era....my teenage life is quite abnormal i think...i've been thru some of the things even people in their 40's havent even go thru yet...so i am young but old at heart..aging due to non stop hurtful experience..well.. life's like that ryte..it is not a bed of roses.... more like a bed of roses' thorns. haha.. so.. what do people do on their birthdays...??? i wanna make a list laa.. things i wanna do before i die... i'll think about it and write it in my next post juz after this... let's talk about the present... currently...my best frens.. the girl ones are all abroad...so i cant enjoy my bday with then..piqoh is in egypt.. nicoz is in aussie..and my other girlfren...ika is not feeling well back at her hometown...pity her... and today i am supposed to drive my mum, 2 of my uncles and my auntie to a traditional healer... or in bahasa, bomoh... we went there already yesterday but we have to go back again today to pick up the herbal medicine for my beloved senior citizens....as i've said...i'm supposed to..hahaha.. bcoz today is my bday, i have the special privelage to trade the task with my brother...he better not takes that as a way to give me my birthday present...hahaha...no no no big bro...well talking bout traditional medicines..it's not that i dont believe in them...coz one of the things i have learnt in the first very few weeks of med school is that some of them do work... tremendously...coz they are dated years and years ago long before the modern medicine for example the chinesse herbs and the ayurveda practiced by the indians or hindus...well muslims and malays also have their traditiona ways of healing... so, i am not doubtful about traditional medicines at all.. but some bomoh..healers... they juz use weird ways to heal...like belah batin, operate using chalks and lime...things like dat with the kemenyan and all... isnt it freaky??? haish!!! call me skeptic but those are juz wicked stuffs laa..in islam, if we are carried away with them..it's haram...tahyul or khurafat..means that He will be mad!!!! coz u put ur faith at the wrong places in the wrong hands...and the belah batin thingy..juz google la bout belah batin and and u'll find things, videos and images that no word can describe..hahaha....and my mum...who recently was admitted to the hospital..in fact, she was treated in CCU(cardiac care unit) during my final exam!!!!! whoaaaaaa.. she's hyped about this belah batin thingy as she doesnt have to undergo actual operation...involving real sterilized tools handled by qualified doctors or cardiologists...hahaha..but i juz said to her..directly..no flower2... if i die and live again..i wont do the belah batin..hahaha...she juz...bites her lips..hahaha...sooooo...ma said that she wants to have a dinner ...to celebrate my bday.. but she knows that i've stop eating at night after dawn..haiiiissssssshh....well..maybe juz this one..hahaha..ok then..happy bday to me..!! :P

it has been a while....A LONG WHILE

2010-05-28T19:59:00.003+08:00

salam..
it has been quite a while since i wrote my last post...hahahaha... not a so called commited-blogger huh???never mind....i'll try to make time writing bout myself here...the sweet life of me??? not so sweet laaa...i am definitely going to change that name and try to make my blog looks better...hahahaha...coz sum1 who is juz a primary school student said... UR BLOG IS SO ANCIENT...hahaha..ouccchhhhh..but i do have to agree with her...so what's happening in my life for almost a year now????? hurm...lots of exams, lots of books, lots of lectures... i do believe my dad is smiling from up above and juz say PADAN MUKA... ahahaha...too bad u're not here to say that in person huh...miss him...i gained true frens..lost one or two along my journey in med school...it's tough to make gud frens when what they would see first is how well u do in the exam...pass or fail... things like dat laaa... i do belive i have become dumber since i entered med school... oooohhh how i miss physics and math...hahaha....in med school..it's not about getting an A+...it's about passing...hahaha....and i thank Allah for granting my wishes so far...dont stop listening to me ya Allah...so now i am on my holidays..since i finished my Professional exam...hahaha...the name makes me laugh...i dont feel professional pun!!!soooo...during this holiday(supposed to be my longest holiday in 5 years of med school), i am planning it carefully...so far i dont feel extremely bored...juz enough travelling and lepak at home..balanced.... next week.. i am going abroad..then i'll stay in kl maybe juz for awhile...hope everything goes well...i'll be alone in an unfamiliar country...well....that's what human call adventure... guess i am not juz mere human...hahaha.. some of u might know this anyway....sooooo....plz.. do follow my blog.....i promise i wont abandon it again...at least not so long laaaa..hahahahaha

i have an illness: MALAS

2009-08-12T12:10:00.002+08:00

Salam...it has been a while since i last updated my blog.... my first exam is coming soon about a month from now..... as usual i am in need of more hours in a day...hahaha....running out of time .... n feel like stabbing myself with a knife juz to kill the bad germs:MALAS.... since ryte now i'm having a week of holiday, books have become a nice background in my room......well i do need to change the attitude quickly..... hahaha... the reason i'm dropping by at my own blog ryte now pun juz to aviod from being sleepy in the library....big har har.....anyway, what is ging on in my life??? one word... APEX... haha...everything apex, makes me feel stressed out....being medical student is one thing, being the first batch of APEX university is another thing... my batch...if the class stars at 10.30, they be marching to the lecture hall at 6.45 am.....hahaha...padahal walking distance je gi ke lecture hall.... xperlu naik shuttle or minibus or anything....hahaha....compete nak duk depan...every morning rase cm masuk program amazing race.....hahahah....above the hectic life, i am blessed with good frens and study buddies..... nabihah, zaki,amiro, tihah, fina.......my sgd: ken, mira, may, wawa, ika, jetlin, anip, sim.....and of coz rumets: lia,sarah, tiqah....n ramai lagi laaaaaaaaa...... hurm....gtg......need to contine with my study.....later...salam

birThday SeNSAtion

2009-06-23T20:01:00.002+08:00

salam....hurm the past couple of days have making me dead tired.....lots of preparations to make b4 entering campus life for the 2nd time.......huhu.....well...i havent been able to talk bout what happened the past few weeks...hurm...let see......after my birthday...i went to kl with my mum n i sort of receive great presents from family and loved ones.....THANK YOU SO MUCH.......i love the communicator, dress, shoes, munawwarah's, watch, tasbih and CRystaLS........SO COLOURFUL...... so nice and sweet......thank you all........despite all my wonderful presents, i find out that my money is decreasing very rapidly due to the preparations for university entrance......hua3.....anyway thanks to sultan kelantan and the government of kelantan for giving me the fund to spend it wisely.....haven't receve the certificate from the sultan though.....huhu.....well as tired as i am....i am very happy to spend my last days as a pre m.d student-to-be with my loved ones...beloved!!!!......my family had a vacation at cherating beach...holiday villa.....once i had the oppourtunity i'll upload a few pics during my vacation and also the beaches in kelantan where i took my niece to......kelantan is great...i hope samer and syafiq; my former tutorial mates(who thought kelantan is nothing but paddy fields and that it is situated in the north of malaysia...like perlis....~pantai timur laaaa!!!!) read this.....see the beauty of kelantan....hahahaha......adoilaaaaa...my back is aching from non stop walking.......apart from the vacation, i also enjoy my belated birthday lunch and outing.......happy much!!!! thanks to the moon............i'm lovin it...ooooh yeah....hahahaha......few more days b4 i register at the apex varsity...huhu...looking forward niiiii....hope that i'll be able to be with my study buddy and my trusted fren a.k.a gud listener; nabihah......i pray for 5 years of excellence and joy!!!!....live happily ever after......amin......

MY WoRk of Art...is It?????

2009-06-22T21:27:00.007+08:00

a tribute to N1 2008/2009...... i've tried to make it look nice ...as best as i can....hope my friends from N1 tutorial group enjoy it...and hope others appreciate what we have gone through in PASUM....let us be inspired by PASUM: Producing leaders.........sorry yg amat sbb lambat edit the clip...xsmpat...lots of things to do...this clip is to remind us what hills we have to climb before reaching the peak.....talking about university, i am juggling with a lot of errunds to do for my apex varsity entrance....awat laaa sume bnda bank in kat bank islam...penuh ngan org...cant even get myselg to line up....never mind, i'll wake up early and off to the bank before the banker touch their coffees..poyo btoi..anyway, good luck for those who will further their studies soon.....wish me luck as well!!! varsities....here we goooooooooooooo!!!!!

dresS anD GownS....sKIrts???

2009-06-15T11:02:00.003+08:00

salam.....
for those who know me and have seen me, do you think a dress or gown suits me???? coz i look AWKWARD and FUNNY in one of that....hahahaha...the thing is, yesterday i went to mid valley, and my sis juz asked me what i want for my birthday and my final exam result....i said anything will be just fine...(not really demanding)....she threw me a lot of suggestions which i'm ok with...then we all went to the clothes section.....and as i was making a joke about a dress with my cousin....my sis suddenly said, 'that looks sweet.....' i was like huh????? yeah it is sweet, but i dont wear skirts let alone dress or gowns....huhu... even my mum said wearing gowns or dresses is just not ME..but, the dress is nice...time for a change laaa...however since i know it'l be awkward for other to see me in it, so i just hurm..hahahhahahahaha....well, i put the dress down and searched a new cardigan for myself...(love cardigans.....!!!!) ....then i went to my sis, guess what...SHE ALREADY BOUGHT THE SWEET DRESS!!! hahahahaha...at least now i have something fresh inside my closet and i bet people will laugh at me...WHO CARES.... the dress is really nice anyway....

defining stress

2009-06-12T15:05:00.002+08:00

here i am blogging in putrajaya at my sis' place.....alooooooyaaaaaa...lots of preparations to make for the university entry.......now i have to be dragged to KL.....my mum juz dont trust me being alone with myself....but that's what i do....alone.....banyak sangat tak prepare lagi.....seriously sakit hati and jiwa.....fees to pay, stuffs to buy, forms to fill in, huhuhuhuhuhu.....silap hari bulan medical check up pun kna buat ad hoc.......lots of stress....feel like crying...i hate doing this kind of preparations to the last minute...control freak....

museum, beach, niece and .........

2009-06-06T21:12:00.004+08:00

~ took me a while to update my blog...lots of stuffs to deal with...heart problem still ade sket2..but i'm all better now...lame dah tak surf jadi kekok plak...lots of comments i received annonymously..next time put your name laaaa..i'm glad that people actually read my blog...fascinating..since all i do is babbling..hahahahaha...hurm....my niece is kind of bored staying at my mum's...so i said to her WELCOME TO MY WORLD...although i kind of like my little world...people say that i like to keep to myself, locking myself inside my room or the CAVE as my mum put it....but, i kind of like that, make me feel that i'm closer to my dad, the quietness lets me hear myself thinking, my heart whispering..... i am not a cave girl.....i juz want my space...since doing medicine at USM is really not my dream, but my parents', i need space to think and calm down...if only they know, then they will stop critisizing my act....since my dad passed away, i cant really put my finger on anything, i cant really make up my mind, i always hesitates thinking that what he would say, what he would do and by 'he' i meant my dad....so when i'm in my room, thinking bout things in my life, thinking how he used to lay down next to me hearing my problems and thoughts, guiding me into making the right decision, i feel that he is alive....when i'm alone and also keeping my room ghost-free...you know what they said, an empty room is a haunted room...i think....so ladies and gentlemen, THAT'S WHY I LOVE MY LITTLE WORLD IN MY SMALL ROOM...(although it is a bit untidy)....that is just one thing.....so getting back on the title above, my niece, emily the smelly is soooooooooooo bored (according to her laaaaaa) she has been pulling my legs to take her to the beach...it is fine with me but i have a few reasons to say NO to her...firstly, i don't know my way to the beach...except the PCB....well i believe i can find my way there but, hey, who believes in me....(i am the kind of person who would say to a nephew that farting will break the fast.......hahahahahaha) you get the idea right...and secondly, how pathetic will i look being at the beach with juz my niece around chasing a crab...not COOL....we are juz going to wait for my mum to get better and my sister to bring us there....so back to my niece... she asks me to take her to the museum....the state's museum where i never step my foot on.....who goes to the museum these days??? that is so....5 centuries ago...ngeh3...but i think it is a good exposure...kids these days watch too much cartoon...my 6-year-old-nephew just said to me that a country which start with a 'B' is jonas Brothers.... hahahaha....too much tv ruins your brain...hahahahaha..well until then, i'm off to eat keropok...MIAHAHAHAHAHA(evil laugh)...sorry if ada spelling mistakes...i am juz too hungry to check my spelling...hehehehe...get a dictionary laaaa

HEART PROBLEM

2009-06-01T22:22:00.005+08:00

SALAM.....SORRY IF ANYBODY ADE TERASE DGM MY PREVIOUS POST OR WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY.....I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ....PISSED OFF (SORRY FOR THE RUDE USE OF MY TONGUE).....i've lots of causes whicH contribute to my heart problem, but just when everything began to settle, here comes another hurtful experience....believe it or not, it comes from a what-seems-to-be-goody-good tuition center....urghhhhhhh...it has been giving me the pain in my liver since EVER.....it's not the teacher but most probably the atmosphere that turns the students into 'different thingies'(entities) in a very irritating way.....cock and bull kind of storis arise from that 'sacred' place...shoot if someone finds out what i'm babbling about then i might be dragged to the court..at least one of my best buddies is damn good in law..the court, cat fights, tongues fight; that's the way they seem to solve their problem and affairs...in a cocky and disrespectful, over socialised way!!! i've never been angry like this with a non-living institution or object....but boy am i soooo full with anger right now.....since when do people have the privilege to spread personal things bout others....i know i have a reputation somehow at my former school doesn't mean that people can come barging right into my life and invent unnecessary bed time stories bout me....i've got campus and scholarship to worry about, give me a break.....i dont know what the story teller from that sacred tuition tells everybody, but one thing for sure, I DON'T LIKE IT!!!!.... sell ur story to another country please....cheap romance story writer! huh, those who read this might not have any idea what i'm talking about, but mark this, I HAVE MY LIMITS AND BOUNDERIES, DON'T DARE CROSS THEM..by the way if u r good enough in the subject let say engish, why bother going into a tuition, to get a partner of your life or do you prefer to waste ur parents' green notes.....for those who think they are younger than me by year or years, please stop nosing around my life like i'm some kind of celebrity...for those who are of the same age as me or older, please, kindly know ur limits and acknowledge my feelings..for those who are in my life, keep up or i won't hasitate to buzz you off....no matter laaaa kaki bodek terbaik dunia or romea yg poyo or juliet yg tak tahu bila nak stop showing her love to the world...for God sake, the lovey dovey feeling or the traits of the heart juz keep it to the heart laaa.....i've a silver tongue, so watch out laaa you gossipers out there!!!! urghhhhh..... thats one problem.my heart suffers a lot!!!! A LOT.... not by stupid things like the above, but some grown up mature things...for those who wish they can grow up faster to conquer the world of stuffs like getting married to ur dreamboy then STOP right now, ur wish might actually comes true and u'll end up like me which is the wordt thing ever....sorry for all the anger, frustrations that i have let out here.....i'm just expressing coz nobody seems to understand why this is so important to me...it's my PRIDE....i dont have enormous pride, but juz enough to live as respectful human being...to live with dignity, to shut others' noses out of my life...anything u hear about me, confront me, if scare, never breathe a word bout things u dont know...SHUT! i'm really sorry for my emotional, i guess it's note really me juz my volcano of anger has errupted and here is the only place i am comfy to let the larva out....sorry for the bad read

birthday, graveyard, flu...emo much???

2009-05-28T20:12:00.002+08:00

hurm...dah 2 hari tak buat new post...so here goes...bnyk bnda nak cte...a lot laa happened to me the past couple of days...my eldest brother came home with his children...the house is full of laughter as we speak...as usual when my nieces and nephews are here;home...i have to take them on a ride....wherever laaaa....for the sake of them i need to sacrifice my pillows and good books not to mention the petrol in my car's gas tank.hahaha, but it is fun, ada mangsa untuk di usik and di sakat.. i brought them to the book fair, the beach ... i'm exhausted, so much that i caught a flu and having a mild fever...and today, we all went to my dad's 'kampung'...where he grew up and buried...

i have this thingy about going my dad's grave...not that i hate the graveyard or being spooked by the idea of it....it is juz that if i dont go to his grave, i feel like my dad is still around....it feels like he is juz away for a while, outstation...but once i see his grave, i am juz crushed to bits....and today, a few hours before my birthday, i feel deeply wounded...tomorrow will be my second bithday without my dad...my dad had this tradition...he would wish me earlier than anyone else...at about 10 or 11 pm one day before my birthday...he didnt want to be the second or the third person to wish me a happy birthday, not only that he had to wish me earlier coz he went to bed early..couldnt wait till the clock stroke 12 midnight..and early in the morning he would bang on my door hysterically as though there was a fire or something....when i opened the door, he had this very broad smile on his face and said 'happy birthday sayang'...when i was seventeen, i loved to let myself free in the rain, and it was my bithday, i had the right to be happy...but as always my mum scolded me, who can blame her, the rain was pouring heavily on me...but that day, my dad juz laughed and backed me up......i miss that so much...if only i could relive those moments then i'll be the happiest birthday girl in the universe... i dont need expensive gifts or exclusive dinner...i juz want to hug my dad again, to be abble to talk to him, kiss him, receiving birthaday wishes from him...more than enough for me, but also more than impossible....miracles cant even mend my heart...he was not only my dad, but also my mentor and my no 1 best friend.......he was my everything....without him life seems empty sometimes....now that i am on my mission to fullfill his wish, it is juz heartbreaking as he is not able to be with me, encouraging me, loving me....coz it seems tougher without him....

some of my friends out there espclly girls, they dont even care to call their fathers juz bcoz they already called their mothers....and the guys, they dont feel that it is a necessary for them to call their fathers, afraid to loose their coolness maybe...most people rather call their sisters,brothers,friends, girlfriends and boyfriends but they forget about their parents; mum and dad...start appreciating them NOW...once you loose them, you'll loose them forever...take it from me; someone who knows better...

sPECTacles, eyES and dot..dot..dot

2009-05-25T18:47:00.002+08:00

today...is a very long day...wargh!!!! jebon btul...hari ni i went out with my former schoolmate farahiyah(soon-to-be-pilot)...so nak di jadikan story, we went to the mall to hang out laaa...eat fast food, update the stories of ourlives...then, i went to the optmtrst...to change my glasses' frame...kind of hard laaa to find the right 1...until we found a nice frame; brown, half-rimmed.made me look like kate walsh in grey's anatomy..wakakakaka....bajet btoi..so i said yes to it......then ble sampai umah, baru realize yg spect tu bingkainye calar about 2mm...for some of u out there this is considered 'nothing'....but to me it's larger than life!!!(exagerate)...so dgn daya usha dan smgt yg tinggi, gi balik kat mall n mitak tukar...pekerja kat stu sumer cam ala2 guna magnifying glass nak tgk tmpt calar tu....even ade yg ckp tak clr pun....COME ON LAAAAA!!!! i know that my eyesight is not that well but i can see the scratch meyh!!! so i insist la nak tukar...big bos diorg cm succumb to my wish laaaa...but brown takdak...black n purple jea ade, so i took the pink...hahahaha...no laaa....of coz the black one...balik umah tgk calar kat lens plak!!! whatever, i give up, lagipun lens tu dah lame, so tak logik nak gi ckp diorg calarkan..coz sblum ni memang dah calar....hahahaha....it's not that i'm perfectionist, it's just that my eyes can see beyond others eventough i am a four-eyes(sometimes je)...

bOred

2009-05-24T16:03:00.002+08:00

Seriously bored...my bro took my laptop....so susah nak tgk movies and stuff coz lappy dia ni cam ermmmmmm...not mine laaa...x thrill langsung..hehehe...i guess personal computer takes a whole new meaning for me...hahahaha...well, right now i'm waiting for the postman to deliver my detailed results (which is not my overall result, its juz like a record on my 2nd final's performance)...although that result wont affect my university application...it is still worth waiting for.....it looks like a pay slip however...hahahaha....taliking bout postman...brings back cute memories from my childhood

when i was younger...probably mase darjah 2 or 3, i lived with my late grandma,my aunt and her family....on a very not-so-sunny day, my cousin Kak Yuni was waiting for her friend's letter....her best friend who moved away...(i think so)...well, what can i say....i was a little bit jealous coz i've never received any letter from my friend so i pretended to wait for a letter of my own and bragged about it to my cousin...so my cousin asked me to join her in the hunt for the postman.......we waited and waited and waited until.........a man, on a red motorcycle, wearing blue shirt arrived at the gate....we were running like wild horses!!!!!(since my grandma's house had a very large compound and the space between the house and the gate would fit an olympic size swimming pool. but now the government take over the piece of land to upgrade the road)....we were panting heavily once we've reached the gate...then the man said 'mek(my grandma), ado?? pakcik nak ajok(jemput) dia gi bekwoh(kenduri) kt kg sbelah mggu dpn hari isna(isnin)...." wargh!!!!!!! he was my cousin's uncle!!!!!! but seriously, he looked like a postman from far with the shirt and the red motorcycle....now we call him Pak cik posmen.from that incident, i 'accidentally' lost half a kilo from the running ..hahahahaha....come to think of it, my chilhood memories are my candies of life as i lived with my grandma for a while ; being overly pampered and without parents's supervision, i was THE KING.....hahahaha...oh look.....the postman has just arrived..hopefully there'll be my letter or i'll be running for nothing again..

Hippocratic Oath

2009-05-23T10:16:00.000+08:00

I do solemnly swear by that which I hold most sacred:

That I will be loyal to the profession of medicine and just and generous to its members

That I will lend mylife and practice my art in uprightness and honour

That into whatsoever house I shall enter, it shall be for the good of the sick to the utmost of my power, I hold myself aloof from wrong, from corruption and from the temptation of others to vice

That I will exercise my art solely for the cure of my patints and will give no drug, perform no operation for a criminal purpose, even if solicited, for less suggest

That whatsoever I shall see or hear of the lives of men which is not fitting to be spoken, I will keep inviolably secret

These things I do promise, and in proporrtion as I am faithful to this my oathh may happiness and good repute be over mine~ the opposite if I shall be forsworn

This is the oath read by all medical students once they have succesfully graduated to become a doctor which personally overwhelms me in a unique way

May Allah protect and bestow upon me His love in every step of the way for me to fullfill my father's wish and my own 'iktikad' to be a DOCTOR.

warghhhhh how could i forget my nazra???

2009-05-23T09:55:00.000+08:00

salam......
last nyte my mum reminded me about my nazra a.k.a nazar a.k.a oath to God....something like that laaaa....now that i remember it.....there'll be almost a month for me to undergo what i promised....huhu....and i am going to the faculty soon!!!!!!!! aiyooookkkkkk.....hurm...xpelah i think i can do it slowly....i'm sure out there, a lot of people like me, we promise something but later on feel a little bit burden to do it.....right???? but a promise is a promise....itu amanah namenye...'la imana li man la amanata lahu' mksudnya tidak beriman sesiapa yg tidak amanah....so fullfill the promise laaaaa....and with great strength and confidence i'll say that I WILL DO IT!!!! (again self assurerance)....

maybe by the end of this week i will find out whether or not i'll be accepted at USM.....cold feet already ^_^ i manage to convince myself that USM is great even if it's near home....like my biology lecturer Pn Kamariah always says 'SO WHAT??'.... i let my imagination runs wild again today....wondering if i can somehow accidentally produce a mutant out of my patient...hahahaha....the fact that a naughty girl like me is going to further in medicine is funny enough right....that's about it, now i have to plan how i will carry out my nazar...and it has to START SOON or i'll be cursed....

ResuLts, UniVersity, liFe...Future

2009-05-22T16:10:00.000+08:00

hurm...well on 18th of may...the results of my foundation exam came out...alhamdulillah laaa lepas nak buat medic....tapi kan...sekarang cm asyik duk pkir where to study although my mum and my loved ones keep saying USM, USM, USM.....but the thing is, it is so near!!!! 5 minutes away from my house...there is no thrill in that, i have to say...however, USM is of course has one of the best medical faculties in Asia....so maybe i'll succumb to my mum's wish..(i have this tingling feeling to say 'your wish is my command' to my mum) hahahaha ....a daughter has to do what a daughter has to do....

but living near home will make my life restricted, isn't it??? oh well, medic malaysia is though as godzilla.....i need all the support i could have then...and my support will be just a five minutes drive from college...wouldn't that be great (false self assurerance) thinking of life and asking zillions of the 'what if' questions to my self......well, let's just hope and pray for the best...do i see myself as a doctor in the future??? yes, insya Allah....do i see myself as a doctor who will faint when seeing a patient giving birth?? yes...erk..definitely.....hahahaha...life would turn out very funny for me then.....i guess this is it..the phone(destiny) is ringging, it's my call, i should pick it up....