ULAR seekor riuh SEKAMPUNG

Salam.. Yes.. ULAR!!! Well, i am still affected by the adrenaline that was pumping in my blood when i saw a snake in the house.. A SNAKE!!!! well, some asked me if i took any picture or the video of the snake... HELLO!!!!! i was busy trying to figure out how to handle the situation at that time. i think i mentioned in my previous post that my mum has heart failure... so i dont want la the situation tu jadi like a huge deal and causes my mum a heart attack or something.. and i'm not the person who updates facebook first before calling for help.... hahaha...

well... let me describe about the snake first okay.. it was grey with a tinge of dark green in colour... it was slim and slender.. it looked timid and cute in a weird way.. wait... do i sound like i just described a person?? hahaha... well i dont know any grey + green people... and mind you, hulk was green only.. hahaha... it was about 1.5-2.0 meters long... it was a bit hard to estimate as the snake was curling on the floor... the width was about the size of my thumb.. it looked harmless if compared to the king cobra or the ANACONDA... hahaha... i know.. hyperbolic!!! my auntie was the one who noticed the snake while she was on her way to the kitchen... she shouted and i almost spilled the wanton i was eating at that time... 'ULAR!' she shouted.. then in a split second i was standing on the couch holding my bowl of wanton... i asked her where... so she pointed her trembling finger toward the dining hall... and i saw it right away.. and i managed to eat one more wanton before i took a long PVC rod and bygone insect spray... hahaha... the maid and i was ready to tackle the snake then my mum suddenly said DONT!!!.. at that time she was on the massage chair.. i know.. sempoi sangat kan.. hahaha.. well she couldnt really move her legs as they were seriously swollen...so she stayed on the chair la... she was afraid that the snake was poisonous... so she called my cousin who lives near our house to ask her husband to come and help us... my cousin came a few minutes after that... ALONE!!! her husband was unwell... and she was afraid of the snake... more than i was.. hahaha.. so i asked her to call the 999.. and asked the fire department or the Jabatan Pertahanan Awam (JPA) to come... while i tried to prevent the snake from going to the main hall... if it went to the main hall... lagi riuh laaa rumah tu... hahaha... my mum and my auntie were praying hard la for the snake to go away... and you know how the elders had some beliefs.. well, one of it is if you want to chase away the snake... talk to it, shout at it, ask it to go away with a strong and stern voice... Ripley's believe it or not... but that was what my aunt did... and my mum told me to do the same... but i said... 'i dont know what to say to the snake' hahaha... i am not harry potter or lord voldemort who know parseltongue... hahaha... that was a funny moment for me...

then, the JPA had trouble to find our house.. pffftttttttt!!! they waited at the mosque which is about 400m from the house...   i was like.. SERIOUSLY??? then i asked my aunty to keep an eye on the snake... takut nanti merayap masuk dalam bilik or anywhere else... i had two choices at that time... to go after the JPA by car or bicycle... i picked my bicycle!!! hahaha.... if i chose the car, it will be a little time consuming for me.. so i wore my extra long cardigan to cover the fact that i was wearing my pink pyjamas at that time... yes!!! i wear pyjamas at 5 pm... sue me... hahaha... so as i was riding the bike.. super fast too if i might add... armstrong pun tak laju macam tu.. hahaha... my cardigan was flapping and flying around behind me... hahaha.. like a cape... so heroic i tell you!!!! hahaha... then when i saw the big fire truck... i felt like laughing out loud... the snake was not that big... and the truck was.. hahaha.. you have to see it to understand how funny it was... so i motioned the JPA to follow me... and there i was... riding my bike as fast as i can in the MIDDLE OF THE ROAD... with the cape-like cardigan.. a huge fire truck behind me... 4 cars stopped to give way.. EPIC!!!!! i am the WONDER GIRL!!! in pyjamas.. hahaha.. ngek! sikit lagi nak cramp due to lactic acidosis.. hahaha... wonder girl la sangat..

so when the JPA officers went into the house and looked at the snake.. they told us that the snake is very poisonous and dangerous... (GULP!!!) and suddenly i had a feeling like i want to throw up... the wanton was shocked and wanted to get out from my digestive system.. hahaha... they caught the snake with a special device.. well not really special pun.. it's a long metal rod with some sort of clipper at the end... and put the snake in a cointainer... they were going to take that back to be properly handled...

after the JPA went away.. suddenly i burst into a laughter... and everybody else laughed as well... so here is a figure to help you identify if the snake is poisonous or not.. but it is not applicable to all snakes...

 hahaha... afterwards i opened my previous lecture note about poisonous snake to identify what was the type or subspecied of the snake that made my day... i think it was a viper... i think so la... not so sure.. well, so much for not concentrating during the fixed learning module session on poisonous snake.. hahaha... BITE ME!!

Magical Touch

Salam... Hye again family, friends and stalkers... (bajet ada sangat la tu stalker kan?) so to keep up with the momentum.. here's another post... before i begin, ever wonder why during your hardship, there are always people come hurting you directly or indirectly? like... you have more than what you can handle already and here comes a bunch of people adding salt to the wound.. or just create a whole new wound for you.. the secrets of His plans... nobody can figure it out... nama lagi secrets.. haha. you just have to pray that, you have the strength to suture yourself back... wound healing, very rare la resolve without leaving scars.. that's why you are constantly reminded about the pain... OOOOUUUUUCCCHHHHHH... for those who claim to feel the same pain, to have the same wound and scar, stop hurting... and may Allah restrain you from doing harm.. harm against other people and harm against yourself...  i dont have to type in a pig latin or pure latin or french or even hieroglyph for you to understand that kan... i believe, it is universal... so for those who have their hears broken multiple times in a short period... may Allah be with you, bless you.. i write this because, it seems like it is the broken hearts season here.. everybody is heart broken... but... believe when i say.. ALLAH WILL NEVER BREAK YOUR HEART...

so... my topic today is about kids with Down's syndrome... you probably think.. 'apa kaitannya dengan mukaddimah post ni yg berjela pasal broken hearts?' well... honestly.. takde kaitan sangat... but.. my heart aches when i see these kids... or any special kids.. sooooooooo young.. to suffer what adults cannot really endure.. so.. i am going to give you the actual, real life situation.. one i saw with my own eyes this morning.. insya Allah there will be no exaggeration about it and i will try my best to describe what i saw without playing with emotions.. well, toying with people's hearts is never my speciality.. IMAGINE THIS AS I GO ALONG TELLING YOU THE STORY.. TAKE IT DEEPLY INTO YOUR HEART... FEEL IT.. PLEASE, BE HUMAN..

i was drinking bubble milk tea from coolblog inside the car while trying to figure out how to repair the radio... and i saw a man, walking with his son in front of my car... well... not my car laa... my mum's.. hehe.. they were heading to the coolblog kiosk which was on my left... the boy was probably about 6 or 7 years old... and the man was probably in his fifties.. the man was wearing a blue shirt with track pants and the son was wearing a brown shirt with cartoons on it and also track pants.. (bless my photographic memory)... They were holding hands... and i noticed the boy had some distinguish features of Down's syndrome... my heart went GDEGANGGGGGGGG!!!!!! i felt touced as if i had seen an angel in front of me...  while at the kiosk. the man ordered the drink... well.. cool blog ni macam comel la jugak kiosk dia.. vibrant colours.... so i could see that boy was very excited.. all that while, they were still holding hands.. after a few minutes, the boy got his drink.. ice blended chocolate coolblog i assumed... happy sangat dia... [have you ever thought that something that brings so little meaning to you can actually bring the joys of life to others? count your blessings... do not go counting how many people should suffer or be in a relationship or how much money you should earn or spend on shoes and bags] so... the boy struggled a bit laaa to hold the drink because it was very cold....so, they let go of the hands and walked to their car.. after a few step, the boy finally able to hold his drink properly... and he reached the man's hand... and hold it..THE MAGICAL TOUCH... the man was a little surprised but he looked at that boy.. and smiled... as he watched the boy drinking the coolblog.. the boy did not even notice the man's smile.... that smile... was so fatherly, loving and you just know... even if it was just as simple ice blended chocolate drink.... it meant a lot... i was practically holding my tears...  (i am sorry, i am very sentimental and sometimes sakit mental.. my heart is too soft it can turn into a curse)

not many parents can raise special kids with patience, unconditional love and  just whole heartedly accept them... YOU HAVE TO BE SPECIAL PARENTS TO RAISE SPECIAL KIDS AND I BELIEVE THE VERY MOMENT ALLAH DECIDES THAT YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SPECIAL KIDS, YOU HAVE BECOME A SPECIAL PERSON ALREADY..  as i was watching that boy... i said my prayers to both of them.. i said to myself...'Mr, your son/grandson is definitely going to heaven'   May Allah blessed them... i closed my eyes trying to chase away the fact that, children living with Down's syndrome very few make it into adulthood...most of them have a short lifespan... my heart and soul wept for them... tapi ajal maut semua di tangan Allah... you will never know how He works His miracle... have you ever noticed, kids with Down's syndrome have similar facial features... small eyes, flat nose, cute lips... when i was little, my mum used to say everytime we met the son of my father's friend who has Down's syndrome, 'tengok tu, tu wajah bakal penghuni syurga.. jangan tenung macam tu, jangan sekali ejek diorang... Ma akan marah sangat kalau anis buat macam tu... Allah lagi marah...' as a kid, i was always afraid of kids with Down's syndrome.. because they look different.. different than my friends.. different from the other kids... as i grow older... my heart goes mellowy when i see them... they are special.. not different.. just simply SPECIAL...

Blog Dusting

SALAM... i am not entirely sure if people still read my blog or not.. and i do not care much if no one reads it..but if you are reading this now, i thank you so very much for being more or less interested with this blog.. to stalkers and non stalkers.. i bid all of you.. a very good day... (i cant say morning or afternoon or evening as i have stalkers curently living in Egypt, Australia, UK and of course... Malaysia... hahahaha... gurau jee) .. so i have realised that i wrote my last post during the cave men era.. haha... a very long time ago isn't it? so i figured a bit of blog dusting could not hurt my already broken heart...  if you are one of those people who have been messaging me or calling me but failed tremendously to hear anything from me, i am sorry.. i threw my phone away.. into the sea it went.. so, as soon as i have a diving license to find my phone down there, i'll make sure to return the calls and messages... but for now... please, i would rather keep it there.. i wanna keep to myself a bit longer if i can.. sorry.. and i am writing this due to the severe urge to balance my left and right brain.. i need to write and draw or paint again... to prevent me from taking any antidepressant pills in the near future.. not that i have taken any.. so far.. hahaha...

So... as the dusting begins, i am thinking, what should i write about? hurmmmm... well... let the first post in the modern day era be something a bit closer to the heart.. shall we? Alhamdulillah, i have finished my third year final examination.. going to the senior year ni!! urghhhh i am feeling so old i can practically see wrinkles and aging lines kat my face ni... hahaha.. but as some of my closest friends know, during the examination period, there will always be someone who is very ill in the family... SPM dulu my late dad, foundation studies dulu diri sendiri, final year 1 my mum, final year 2 accident, final year 3 my mum again... haaaaaaaadussshhhhh!!!!

you see, when i was sitting for my SPM and my dad was terminally ill with the cancer, i thought 'i am going to become a doctor so that i can help my parents if they fall sick.. etc.. etc' because at that moment, i felt so helpless and hopeless and everything less when i couldnt help my dad to relieve his pain and i thought that i can change that by becoming a doctor... and the fact that it was my dad's dying wish give me a larger than life reason to become one.. to keep the connection going on even after he passed away...... so i dropped the ambition of being an engineer and focus all of my brain cells on becoming a doctor... at the same time... i was loosing weight, (WAS laaa... not AM :( .. huhu ) and so much more changes due to the stress that i put on myself... then i managed to get into a medical school very near from home for the sake of my mum.. wooohooo to me.. NOT!! as i am currently still in medical school... i find that the journey gets tougher to be sincere or IKHLAS about doing things for the sake of others... my non medical student friends would think that being in medical school somehow makes me different, turning me into a very private and forever alone person... some even think that i find myself so out of their league and above all of them that i turn into someone i am not and never will be.. which is a snobby self centered person who thinks highly of herself, and feel as if i am the most superior being in the universe... GOD FORBIDS!! the truth is.. i am struggling to be ikhlas... (not a person's name yeaaaa.. ikhlas=sincere) and i dont expect people to understand that.. in fact i dont expect anything... so as i have said, my mum is also unwell... and here i am.. a medical student.. having read numerous textbooks (which literally means, just one or two pages from a few text books >_< haha.. mind you.. i am a lot of things, but nerd is not one of it) i still feel helpless and hopeless when i see my mum struggles to breathe, cant eat, cant sleep, cant walk... she feels so tired that a smile is something too energy-consuming.. (please ignore my inappropriate vocab)... i cant do anything to help her... relieve her symptoms... i really cant... even my brother who is a doctor also comes to his wits end when he too feels frustrated upon seeing my mum's condition.. not much that he can do... so you see, it is not about te knowledge and skills that can enable me to help my mum.... seriously.... and what i thought during my SPM era was wrong... i should not have hoped to become a doctor so that i can eradicate all the illness in the world... and my mum would be okay (well it is not totally wrong isnt it? a bit sweet if look at one point... but it will become a poison to your heart if things dont go as you plan.. and usually.. they dont) ... i should build my faith, keep it strong and gigantic...penawar tu ada pada Allah, rezeki tu ada pada Allah... semua ada pada Allah... and if someday i can find the cure to cancer, that it is with His permission and not 100% based on my abilities which are also gifts from Him... FAITH... FAITH.. FAITH... makes you human... makes you sane.. makes you alive... to my juniors and young friends, if you do want to become a doctor ( a lot of you do kan... haha... prepare to suffer... hehehe.. kidding), set your niat correctly.. do it because of Allah.. not because you want to go against all odds and become the member of team medical dragon or House and conquer the world... tak kesah la if you are learning accountancy, law, or engineering... have faith and everything will be super duper jupiter great... dont wish to be something that you dont want to be just because you think that it is all up  to you to change and save the world... but i did mention that, things dont usually go as planned... you might want to be an architect but end up being a pharmacist or etc.. should always remember that Allah has greater plans for you...  well, my mum is asking me to do something... till the next dusting session peeps.. happy stalking people! salam...

ACCIDENT!!!!!!!!!!!

Salam. Hye.. for those of you who doest really know me, you might not know this.. but in MAY 2011.. just about a week before my exam, i was involved in a car accident.. i have probably mentioned this in my previous post but this post i dedicated in the memory of that accident.. hahaha.. MAY is not a very good month for me.. my heart was broken and people think i didnt know what was going on, i was involved with an accident yet it was insignificant, lousy birthday, my mum was admitted to CCU... terrible!!!! and i found out that having a near death experience made no difference to certain people i cared so much about.. they were so blinded with their own feelings that loosing me was considered as a relief... and oh, exam!! how unlucky huhhhh??? you bet!!!!

so, should i tell you how i got into the accident?? okey.. the story begins like this...

My mum was admitted to the hospital due to her heart condition.. she was admitted for about a week in the ward... the night before the accident, i have insisted on staying with my mum in the ward but everybody else had asked me to go home, get some rest because the next day i had a community health programme in a village about 35 minutes from usm.. the programme was part of my curriculum so it was compulsory for me to be there despite the fact that my mum was in the ward and all (yup.. sengal sangat when things like this happen).. so i went home with my sister in law and slept alone... kinda creepy la that night.. hahaha... yea, saya penakut especially bila malam jumaat.. geeeezzzz... so i hardly slept that night... didnt feel too good also.. felt like having a fever or something.. a very long lonely night... so, pagi tu.. i was a bit dizzy... didnt have my breakfast because i thought i was running late.. i was supposed to be at usm by 7 but it was already 7.10 am.. haish.. (you know what pissed me off??? that day, everybody gathered and went to the village at 9.30!!!! so why in the world people were rushing me to be there????!!!!)

i parked my car outside of the garage.. so it was covered by mist... so i drew down the window... and turned off the aircond... just the good old fresh air of friday morning.... so.. when i was at the junction from my house towards the main road... i crossed confidentlt because it was friday morning.. the road was literally empty... BUT.. as my car was perpedicularly in the middle of the road.... came this Proton Saga.. full speed!!! it didnt see me i guess because the driver didnt brake.... i know this!!! because when the car hit me, both of the cars were still moving.. i guess he panicked too... i was shocked too see him coming so fast and i cant think of anything except TEKAN MINYAK LA WEYHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!... but my car was in catatonic shock too la kot... hahaha... and as i saw the car coming directly at me, i thought.. this is it...i didnt even get to see my mum that day... melodramatic ke???? well.. that was what going thru my mind.. my whole life flashed in front of me... my Abah, my Ma.. and i just watched the car coming at me... the driver was talking to his girlfriend... and it was the girlfriend who realised my car was just a few metres away... but.. too late... BAAAAAAAAANGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!! KEBABOOOOO... my car kinda swirlded about 25 degrees.. and i was ALIVE!!! hahaha.. all that came out of my mouth is.. MY CAR!!!! ahahaha... ok.. so that's the story laaaa... lebih kurang.. but i want this post to be informational... so i wanna share with you how to deal with such situation...

first, when you get into an accident.. stay calm... HAHAHA.. didnt do much of that last time... check if you are okay or not.. can you move?? if not get help and ask someone to call the ambulans...just make sure no one is hurt la keyh.... then, if your vehicle was in the middle of the road... get some help to move it to the road side.. in my case, i was lucky enough as the villagers nearby helped me to move my car.. then, take all of your valuables from the car.. you never know if there was any leakage.. your car might explode!!! hahaha... ok tu macam over la kan.. but still.. keep your things safe... call your closest family member who can help you to settle things.. because you might be still in shock.. in my case i called my brother...then i call my lecturer and friends telling them i couldnt go to the programme i was supposed to go.. and i was crying!!! (malu seyh!!!!!)... call the police.. (of course la because what happened couldnt be settled by a simple agreement... it was not like someone scratched my car...duuuhhhh) ok... and i had my accident near a workshop and it had a tow truck.. so a bit convenient la to get a tow truck that time.. oh yeah!!! please dont forget to take pictures of the car!!! you are going to need it to claim insurance...

then, go to the police station to make the report.. do not forget your driving license and your ic ye cik mek!!!! hahahaha.. cam nak kena pancung je kalau tak bawak lesen to the police station to report an accident.. the inspector who interrogated me was a Singh... looked fierce but surprisingly kind... hahaha.. he was very huge... muscular... and macam Godfather la sket... but he was nice... he said "you student ke??? hurmmmm hati-hati laaa..you ni aset negara" hehehe... aset ni!! hahaha.. nasib baik la dia super duper nice... well.. nice-nice pun... kena ticket jugak.. rm300 because technically it was my fault la for getting out of junction carelessly.. he said "saya terpaksa saman awak sebab kalau ikut undang-undang.. awak kena saman atas kesalahan keluar simpang dengan cuai" hahaha... melayang rm300... so, for the insurance claim... you need to get the copy of police report which will be done about 2 days after you have reported it.. well sort off la because i had the accident on friday.. office tutup.. if during weekdays probably faster la kot... so what you need to prepare for your insurance claim... your driving license for the past 3 years, your ic, you car's registration document, your car's insurance.. semua yang berkaitan dengan kereta laaa... ooooohhhh... and get this.. if you are under 21 years old or still using P license, or the car is not under your name or not listed as the rightful driver.. you have to pay rm400 to the insurance company.. hahaha... sengal!!!! when the accident happened.. it was just a week before my birthday!!! alaaaa.. dah panjang sgt dah post ni..

fashion kerrr????

Salam.. hello people.. if you are reading my blog, clearly you are bored and have nothing else to do.. hahaha... but i always appreciate your interest in my blog... i have never highlighted this fact before.. i dont do any proofreading when i am blogging.. and my English is not that good but hentam je laaaa... hahaha.. ok... the story begins like this..

i have to admit i am more of myself around girls rather than boys.. sooooooo uncomfortable around guys.. what do you expect, i am a girl... and i am not the type of girl who can just be friends with others especially guys in a 2 seconds conversation... so that explains why my guy friends ni boleh bilang ngan jari je... and honestly, it is always fascinating how the minds of women and men are different... but sometime so similar that it freaks me out a bit.. freaks me out in the sense of "are u sure u are a guy/girl??" hahaha...

so, the other day i have the opportunity to have a good informative chat with my good indian guy friend.. i asked him... "What do you think about the tudung that we all wear?" hehehe... a cliche question i have to say.. but i love to see things from different point of view... so he answered very honestly... "it is what your religious requires so it is cool... but i have to say the style of how the ladies wear tudung or scarfs nowadays are just simply freaking me out!!!! what is with this belit-belit style and letting it loose and wearing those dangling accessories for the tudung?? like seriously???!!! tudung is supposed to be simple right.. it looks nice in just the simple way..." hahaha... i was amazed by his reaction.. i mean he talked like one of those yang memang tak suka perempuan ni tabarruj (berhias secara berlebihan melampaui batas)... so i asked him about the instant tudung yg style Ariani or like what my lecturer mispronounced Arianna( with a Brit accent) hahaha.. dia cakap "it's more suitable for the older people i guess..the plain simple ones are ok.. but yang decorated pelik2 tu cam..i dunno how to say it nicely but if u can, please dont wear it" hahaha.... i kinda like his responses you know... he is living in a big city.. bigger than my hometown.. and he sorts of saw it all.. the styles of hijab... how people wore them too short that seems a bit pointless of actually wearing one..

the greatest and awesome part is my heart's opinion... that the belit-belit ones are just complicated, the word DISLIKE is clearly what he has to say....he prefers the simple ones..which i am going to keep to myself la that points.... i treasure that opinion so much!!!! hehehehe..not the see through 'i-can-see-your-neck-and-ears-and-everything' type la tau!!!!.. but i have to admit my tudung is not really that perfect.. ade yg a bit see through.. huhuhuhu.. honest confession la ni kira..... i wore the shawls sometimes with an inner.. but just once in a blue moon.. because i find it rather suffocating and irrelevant with the usage of a stethoscope.. hahaha... tergeliat kepala ngan tangan nak sumbat stethoscope kalau pakai tudung belit-belit. you might take 20 minutes just to wear it properly with you belit-belit tudung... some people look nice in it and some people just dont care if they dont look nice in it as long as they like it.. but.. seriously... tak perlu la pakai yang pelik-pelik sangat.. i mean, it's ok to let people know that you are fashionable... but not outrageous la...

Islam is about beauty in everything... it never forbids the muslims and muslimahs to be fashionable and well-dressed.. as long as you dont attach your soul to the clothes that you are wearing then, it's okay...unless you are just plainly vain...

how to know if you are plainly vain and outrageously inappropriate fashion freaks???
a) you spend too much time looking at the mirror... dah la doa tengok cermin tak baca... but you manage to spend hours putting on make ups and adding accessories to your tudung yang dah macam sarat dah dengan macam-macam benda... my lecturer said "tak payah la letak make up yg mahal sangat tu.. you are beautiful just like that" hahaha.... cam bruno mars la plak lecturer ni.. pandai bagi ayat cmtu ea dalam lecture...
b)you spend too much money trying to look good in the eyes of others instead of yourself... dah sampai riak pun ada.. and perhiasan tu cam kalau makcik-makcik tu.. emas sampai bahu.. huuuuuuhhhhh... tu yang duk ade mucsle pain tu... pakai barang berat sangat...
c)you are hoping for praises and that people will follow your style... heeessssshhhh
senang cte tabarruj la.. semua nak lebih-lebih tak leh la.. berfesyen la semampu dan sesedarhananya... how to define sederhana??? ada standard guidelines for that??? hurmmm... to make it simple... modesty is something that is allowed in islam, comfortable, affordable, clean, neat, nice, and makes you feel you.. heeeeeee... have a fashionable day people!!!

DoCtORS vs EtHiCS.. CORRECTION!! STUPID DOCTORS VS HUMANITY

Salam... Okey, in my previous post i mentioned about sharing more experience regarding the hari raya but i think it is enough la.... Raya is soooo yesterday.. (but doesn't mean that the fasting in syawal should end before you complete the 6 days of it which equals the pahala of fasting for the whole year) so.. now i am officially a third year medical student.. so how is it so far?? BOOOOOOOORRRRRRRIIIIINGGGG.. hahaha.. in fact till now i am looking forward to go back home just the scond i arrive at the class... hahahaha.. terrible la this illness... anyhow, back to bussiness.. the first block or subject that i learn is about BIOETHICS AND COMMUNICATION.. it is not a clinical block.. but it is vital in producing good doctors... you know.. the HUMAN DOCTORS... not those DEATH EATERS VERSION OF DOCTORS... as lazy as i am to attend the sessions... i know.. this is important from my personal experience.. Ahhhhhhaaaaa!!! i know certain people dont really like reading about medical stuffs especially since they are not directly involve with it... but u know my style.. my blog talks about past experiences... stuffs i find worth sharing.. knowledge i think not many people know..

so.. previously, i have talked about how i despise the proud doctors... it seems like i really hate my field isnt it??? well, i dont blame you.. there are a bunch of people out there who criticised my way of smacking the naive ambitions of the young ones to become doctors... but this post is about doctors and ethics... so here goes.. my dad was 54 years old when he passed away.. in the first place, he had pain due to the gall stone (batu dalam hempedu) but later they found out my dad's liver was abnormal.. a series of investigation was done and BOOOOMM... the doctor broke the news.. my dad had cancer of liver... my dad was treated at 3 hospitals... 2 of them is in Kelantan and one in Selangor... not gonna mention the name of the hospitals here... the first hospital which handled my dad was very good.. created a good rapport (communication) with him... but the second hospital made me hate doctors!! wonder how i get through 3 years of medical school.. hahahaha... life is ironic... let the story begins.. One day, we brought my dad to the hospital in Selangor.. he had been treated there 10 years before for lymphoma (cancer of the lymph node) but this time, he was treated by another different doctor... this particular doctor is a well-known Prof.. a Dato'.. ooooohhh have i mentioned a very COCKY PERSON?? hahaha.. why??? get this, during his first meeting.. he saw my dad... checked his abdomen.. pressed here and there (palpated) and he went "WHAT DID THE HOSPITAL YOU PREVIOUSLY WENT TO DO?? THIS IS A CLEAR CASE OF LIVER CANCER IN ADVANCE STAGE.. YOU WILL HAVE A BLOATED STOMACH.. THEN YOU WILL BE DISORIENTED... THEN YOU WILL BE IN COMA.. YOU HAVE ABOUT 8 MONTHS TO LIVE" yes... this conversation happened the first day my dad met this stuck up doctor... and sure enough.. my dad was devatated.. damged emotionally... the last bits of his hopes were crushed.... and people talk about how the psychological aspect of the cancer patient can kill the patient faster than the cancer cells... why laaa this prof did that to him?? to add the salt to the wound... everytime he went to see my dad.. (just to increase the money he is getting for the rubbish treatment he was giving to my dad) he would stand 10 feet away from my dad.. my dad had a private room.. and the doctor would stand near the door... not near my dad... but near the door.. easy to get away i presumed... i swear i am telling the truth.. i am not exagerrating any information... so where are BENEFICIENCE??? NON-MALEFICIENCE??? AUTONOMY??? JUSTICE?? KNOWLEDGE??? EMPATHY???? should you give a senior specialist a reminder of what he learnt years ago in medical school about ethics??? or is this thing call ethics doesnt exist that time??? nak buat report about him pun.. he probably has a high rank or position in MMA OR MMC... but this is something that happens to my dad... to me.. put yourself in my dad shoes... jijik ke seorang pesakit kanser sampai seorang doctor layan dia macam tu... ooooohhh... wait... the story gets better... nak dijadikan cerita... my dad had friends who are Dato' and one of them bump into this Dato' Doktor Prof. ni... and then he realized that my dad was friends with influential people... haaaa... baru nak treat with respect... my dad was a financially stable person.. but not super rich... imagined how the doctor would treat a poor farmer or the lower working class people.. or those who are ot working anymore... mcm mane????

so... case number two... my dad went to the third hospital... he recieved a better treatment there.. much better.. but there was this particular doctor/researcher... suggesting my dad a new drug... supposedly good for cancer patients....it gave the effect of chemotherapy but you have to take it orally.. it was a new drug at that time and he was suggesting my dad to take it.. you have o understand this... my dad was a man who was fighting for his life... he would do anything to be free from his disease... to see me going to college.. to be at my graduation.., to see more grandchildren.. to have more family vacations... so... he was willing to take it.. as his family.. we wanted that too.. and we surely couldnt live our lives if we didnt do anything possible to cure him.. we were afraid, if he didnt try that drug... he might miss the opportunity to be better... the doctor sort of instillled that feeling to us... my dad was already terminally ill at that time... the definition of terminally ill patients is the patients who have less than 6 months to live.. the focus of treatment should be palliative and more gentle or his roughed soul and body... but we tried the drug... it costs RM10,000 just for a month supply... and my dad passed away before he even finished taking the drugs... later we found out that the drugs was very new and there was not really enough or strong evidence as to its efficacy... so basically, that doctor was trying out a new drug on a terminally ill patient which bring more harm to the patient... yes, my dad was miserable after taking those crazy expensive tablets...

so there you go... why ethics are important in medicine... ethics make sure that doctors remain humans and leave the role of God to Him...

RAYA: wassup???!!

Salam... before i begin.. i just wanna wish who ever reads my blog.. SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI.. so this year there are 29 days of Ramadhan only.. hurm.. i wish i could have been longer.. but surprise, surprise.. raya this year has many twists!!

when we talk about raya.. we talk about the food.. when there is an open house, the food provided by the hosts are sufficient to feed an entire refugee camp.. seriously!! satay, nasi himpit, kuah kacang, lodeh, rendang, ketupat, lemang, nasi kerabu, nasi minyak, nasi hujan panas, nasi air, nasi lemak.. hadoi.. macam pesta makanan pulak.. air oren, air sirap, air ribena (kelas kau jah) hahaha.. during the fasting month you might lost a few kilos but you'll gain all of it back at once in a single day of syawal.. hahaha.. sia-sia je..

so what's interesting this raya??? i've had some very annoying illnesses.. had to take antibiotics and all.. hadoi la.. sakit jiwa je rasa.. i had a bleeding which was very hard to stop to the point that my very cute baju raya was stained by a generous amount of blood.. i keep bleeding love!!! cewah.. haaa.. if raya last year siap accident pekebenda lagi kan.. this year alhamdulillah.. no accident.. the road seems forgiving this year.. or is it just my imagination???!!! heeee

ok.. so ape lagi?? well this year, people wont even look at me to give the duit raya.. hadoi... sedih.. suddenly i am too old for one.. and the refreshing thing is that i actually gave duit raya to others.. not on behalf of my mum.. but from my pocket money.. huish..who says growing up is fun huh???? but it is nice to do something different.. instead of getting, i am actually giving.. cool la jugak rasenye.. :)

haaaa.. one more thing.. you know how people go to the graveyard on eid to pay respect to their loved ones who had passed away.. well i discovered something interesting. there was a group of people strangely wearing the same clothing like boria or nasyid group.. went to the grave of their relative i presume and started to lit up the 'setanggi' and do some weird stuff like extremist or the correct word in Islamic belief is bida'ah.. hadoi.. seksanye..

lots more happen but you have to wait until another post because i have to go now... take care everybody..